I recently had the experience of traveling from the Northeast of the U.S. to the West during the winter. It was one day after the first in a series of crippling snowstorms for the area. I almost didn't get out (I had decided to go by train and it was frozen to the tracks for an hour or two) for a number of reasons.
It was brutally cold that morning and when I got outside, I was so focused on my trip and the attendant details, I didn't even notice until I got inside the car. I thought, wow, it's cold and I just noticed.
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Years ago, I went to one high school reunion (20th) just to say I went or to have the experience. At that reunion, I bumped into a woman that was from my old neighborhood as well as my graduating class. She and I sat down for at least a half an hour and had a very engaging talk.....even more than I knew. My then significant other told me later that she and a friend of mine were dancing behind my friend Karen while we were talking trying to get my attention by doing all kinds of signals, crazy dances, etc. and I didn't see any of it.
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My spiritual teacher has talked about how when suffering thoughts are questioned they don't necessarily disappear altogether. They still show up but there's no attachment to them so there's no suffering: that "they're like a song".
I have to admit, I didn't grok her insight at first, although I trusted it, just accepting it on faith. What I couldn't imagine was how thoughts like, "I'm not good enough" or "he's an ***hole", could be like a song.
???
After remembering the two stories above, I got it: They're at the level of a song in the background in one's consciousness just the way a song playing on the radio is when doing just about anything else that has your attention like a conversation or work.
I find this state of attention/focus particularly fascinating. It's much like when one has a headache or some other pain and is completely distracted from it by some person or event, like a surprise visit or surprise party.
That this is possible shows how attention and focus can constitute or dissipate suffering or happiness. And so all that is necessary is the practice of gently redirecting it until it is still and doesn't move without full awareness of it doing so.
Attention is possibly the most valuable power in the world. How often do others want yours? Advertisers and merchants are always vying for it. How often do we give it to ourselves? Ever notice the peacefulness that emanates from those who do?