Coworker approached me about minimalism!

[Ultralight]

This was totally unexpected but a coworker approached me about minimalism. He was not condescending or joking or asking merely out of surface level curiosity but because something happened that has made him rethink his values.

Here is the story:
I walked out into the hall at work and ran into this guy. We exchanged some small talk. I could tell something was on his mind. When I asked about his weekend he lamented that his nice, red sports car got bumped in a parking lot. He said there is a good-sized dent and he knows he'll have to pay the $500 deductible to get it repaired. But he obviously does not want to pay it! He said: "This makes me think about becoming a minimalist. If I had bought a used car with a few dings and scratches already on it then I'd have more money and I would not worry about this superficial dent."

This experience has caused him to rethink his relationship to things, to stuff. He is experiencing what I call "possession pressure." Maybe I made this term up; maybe I read it somewhere. I don't know. But what he is experiencing emotionally is that the car is "pressuring" him to fix it so it looks like a nice sports car again.

I suspect that he is going to bring this up to me again. I am not sure what to say or if I should just listen.

Thoughts?

[SteveinMN]

Just listen. If he asks a question, answer honestly. If he seems receptive, offer to help him find more information/get started on the SL journey (maybe point him our way). Last think you want to do is hit the subject hard and drive him away.

[Ultralight]

Good points. If he comes around my cube to ask me about it, I'll do what you suggest.

[profnot]

I would say something brief but encouraging to get him to think this way about all his purchases.

I would tell him his realization was one the of few epiphanies one has in a lifetime and that I had one, too.

My "moment" completely changed the way I think about money, my family, and financial independence. It's a bit tricky since it's USA counter-culture but my wife and I are very happy and financially secure.

Let me know if you want some recommendations for websites or books.

Then I would drop the subject and let him initiate further discussion.

[jp1]

I agree to keep it light and only if asked, at least initially. Think about people of other religions who attempt to 'share' their religion with you and what your reaction has been. No, minimalism isn't a religion, but if you overdo it you're likely to get the same reaction of walls being put up.

I like the phrase possession pressure. I've not heard it before so perhaps you did come up with it. In any case it does provide a simple way of describing the problem so many people have in their relationship with 'stuff'.

[Ultralight]

The only remotely preachy thing I said was: "It is all about your values; what do you value?"

This made him take on a thoughtful look. And he said: "I kind of just wish I had a junker so I did not have to worry about this stuff."

[Float On]

My husband had a beautiful little gold mazda b2000 extended cab when I met him. That truck meant everything to him. And then a deer tried to get in the passenger door. The insurance check arrived right when we needed money for something else so he lived with a dinged up door. Then another deer tried to get across the same stretch of road and messed up the front right quarter panel. That insurance check also arrived right when we needed it for something else so he lived with a dinged up quarter panel and a dinged up door. And then I kid you not another deer, same stretch of road trying to go the other way got the front left quarter panel. Once again he lived with 2 dinged up quarter panels and a dinged up door and learned his lesson about putting such high value on a truck and was more likely to get it dirty helping others because "hey, it's just a beat up truck anyway".


By the way, my little SUV got hit by a big lincoln towncar yesterday. Finding out the damage to my wheel and everything behind it today but the one little bit of metal that got hurt I probably won't worry about even though this is the first damage to this little car ever, it's an '09. I think a few dings will add character and make me less likely to worry about it.

[Ultralight]

Float On:

That is actually a pretty good story about valuing people and relationships more than things. Thanks for sharing! I am going to recycle that story (and cite you as my source) when the opportunity arises.

[Float On]

Jake, my father loves that story too. It was so strange how it was the same stretch of 1/4 mile road, 3 deer in one year. My dad laughs and says "ah, your husband got more deer than me that year!!!" It's been 23 years and he hasn't even seen a deer on that same stretch of road since.

[Ultralight]

This right here is the real gem:

"Once again he lived with 2 dinged up quarter panels and a dinged up door and learned his lesson about putting such high value on a truck and was more likely to get it dirty helping others because 'hey, it's just a beat up truck anyway'."