Downsizing--Actually Spend More?

[Gardenarian]

Hi Radicchio,

We (me, dh, 16yo) moved from a 3 story older home with a difficult layout and terraced gardens to a single level ranch house.

I find our new house infinitely easier to maintain. The yard is mostly level and I'm looking forward to landscaping.

The house isn't new but is in much better shape than our previous house. The layout is darn near perfect, with the bedrooms separated from public spaces.

The location is great, I really don't need a car (though I have one.) The exercise from going up and down stairs is more than compensated by walking everywhere.

We got rid of loads of stuff during the move and I'm still tossing lots of stuff as I unpack.

Moving was an incredible amount of work. We were really motivated to live in our new town - really, it's a whole new life for us. As we moved to a much less expensive area this was an enormous financial gain. I also found a great job (though I officially 'retired' when we moved and am getting my pension as well as salary.) There is also a very good high school for my daughter, and a state university a couple blocks away.

I guess what I'm saying is that it wouldn't have been worth the work and hassle just to downsize, but the other factors made it very worthwhile.

Good luck!

[Radicchio]

Thanks, Gardenarian, for sharing your experience and observations. I think that is what we are hoping to accomplish when/if we downsize. I'm afraid we will regret it someday if we don't do this. However, we are taking our time and still looking at all options that would accomplish our goal. It is difficult, as the home we live in now was a custom build. Although not lavish, it is tailored to our preferences. I think we will need to make some compromises, but it will be worth it. DH got stuck for a while thinking we could have it all and downsize, but I think he's viewing it differently now.

[Geila]

For years Dh and I talked about downsizing and retiring somewhere else and we finally decided we are going to stay put! We have a 1460 sq ft single level ranch and we could easily live in about 850 sq ft, but we've also put lots of work into the house, landscaping, and community where we live. Our property taxes are incredibly low for the area - under $2500 a year due to prop 13 - and we have amazing weather pretty much year round so we can enjoy ourselves and the gardens, and the cost of utilities is very low. In the end we realized that since we can afford to stay here, and we like it so much, that the benefits of moving wouldn't be worth it for us.

We also have an amazing amount of resources and conveniences within walking distance and within a few miles so we figure our later years will be comfortable as well. It's been a huge relief to have that decision made and to feel permanently settled and to focus on daily living. It feels like our quality of life took a big jump!

[Miss Cellane]

I'm finding that when DH and I discuss what to do DH often starts out from the position that, while he's willing to downsize in terms of square feet, he seems to want all of the same custom features (and maybe some extra) that we have now. I keep reminding him that downsizing, by virtue of the name, implies giving up some things and it's just a matter of prioritizing what is most important at this stage of life. Thankfully, he's responsive to that idea, although it seems like I have to keep reminding him of it.

The two bolded bits really stuck out to me.

You and your DH have different definitions of downsizing. Both are good definitions, but in your case, they clash with each other.

Some people downsize so that they can have a smaller, but better house. That's your DH. Much less expensive to put hardwood floors in a 1,200 sq. foot house than a 4,000 sq. foot house, for example. You need less furniture, so you might be able to afford better furniture. So some people create tiny jewel boxes of a smaller home, but with lovely finishes, built-ins, etc. They have downsized and cut the expenses of a larger home, in order to get exactly what they want, in the confines of their new, smaller home.

Your definition of downsizing is different, but that doesn't make either of you wrong. It just means that you have different ideas of what downsizing means to each of you. From what I've read, you want to give up extra space, the utility costs and maintenance that go along with a larger home. That is just as valid a goal as your DH's.

So I'd discuss with your DH what custom features he wants and why. My feeling is that some of what he wants should be included in the new house--it will be his house, too, and just as you should get some of what you want, so should he. The fact that you have to keep reminding him of your definition of downsizing indicates to me that he doesn't want what you want--and so there need to be some conversations to get to a compromise.

[Radicchio]

Watergoddess, It sounds like you've made a wise decision---why give up something that works for you? We may come to that conclusion, as well, but I don't think so due to the issue of having three stories.

Miss Cellane, I absolutely agree with your points. I guess I didn't convey very well that we are working on prioritizing those "extras," so that we can consider not including some of them in order to stay within budget. Believe me, I want a few extras, too, that DH wants. I just don't think we need to insist on having everything we have here. I actually think that DH and I balance each other out. I would be willing to make more sacrifices for the sake of the budget than he, but then might regret not including certain extras later. He starts out from the standpoint of wanting to incorporate them all, and we will probably compromise and make sure we have the ones that we both consider important, as well as some that maybe just one of us rates as very, very important. So, in the end, we balance each other out.

[sweetana3]

Just talked to an 80+ woman while at a retreat. She wants to move from their large and not accessible home. The kitchen is downstairs due to the sloping lot. However, she cannot give up having a big wood working shop for her husband and wants a memory care facility part of the community. Note: she lives in northern Indiana and there are not a lot of any facilities. So they are staying.

I tried to explain memory care as being for those who truly are a danger to themselves or cannot be cared for at home. That type of facility is often not a direct part of a community. We found a large community with a big wood working shop just by talking to other people at the retreat but her desire for an included memory care (even though neither of them has any issue) is causing a stoppage in the whole idea of moving. I wonder if there is much more involved?

[Radicchio]

Sweetana, Maybe she or her husband has a history of dementia in the family? Or maybe she is sensing some possible memory problems in one of them? I think her experience illustrates what DH and I are doing---weighing the pros and cons of various options and realizing that we probably won't come up with something that satisfies all our "wants," but we will come to a mutual decision about what satisfies some of our "wants" and all of our genuine "needs." IMHO, that is something each of us does regularly---sort out what is truly a need and what is just something we want.

[Aqua Blue]

I sorta downsized two years ago. I went from a 1800 sf house to a 1400sf house. Cost of this house per sq ft was higher, so I guess I paid more for this house-dollar wise it was a break even for the actual cost and then I put up a fence which put it slightly over my previous house. But, I now have a fully handicap assessable house, with no stairs(I had lots of levels before), walk in shower, extra wide halls and door way, an attached 2 car garage(my old house the garage was unattached. It was built by the premier builder in town during the recession to keep his best employees employed. I am very happy with it and intend for it to be my last home.

[thunderseed]

I've always wanted to live in a really tiny off grid cabin, and I always thought it would be really cheap, but after I added up the costs I found out it would end up being more expensive than just living in this current home, even in terms of long term sustainability. Don't get me wrong, I love my current house, but I've often fantasized about living in one of those small off grid cabins with concrete floors and lots of windows for natural light, but turns out, a lot of problems with that plan. It's actually more expensive to be off grid here than it is to use electricity, but maybe in the future prices will go up in electricity and off grid alternatives will become cheaper here.

[jp1]

Solar panel prices have dropped by half in the last 4 years. A few more years and the price to go off grid will start to reach parity with the grid. At least in places where utility electricity is pricey.