Misconception: Minimalists don't care about people.

[Kestra]

double post

[Ultralight]

But people do seem to think it can impede dating - no car, no real bed, no sofa, no own place, etc.

If you are a guy then having no car, no real bed, and no own place pretty much destroys your dating life.

For death and relatives, I think my family generally agrees that the best gift you can give your children is to get rid of most of your stuff before you go.

Really? How'd you all swing that kind of understanding?

I think the bigger relationship stumbling block is the frugality. People see you as cheap and uncaring if you don't give gifts. They also think it's hard to date frugally.

So true! If I could have all the money back I spent on 1st dates in the past couple years... I had a nice IRA! haha

My will specifically indicates to either donate or sell all my stuff.

Seriously?

[ApatheticNoMore]

If you are a guy then having no car, no real bed, and no own place pretty much destroys your dating life.

I have seen the having no car limit people's social lives, how visiting friends was weighed against the hassle of taking buses.

[Ultralight]

I have seen the having no car limit people's social lives, how visiting friends was weighed against the hassle of taking buses.

For men and dating, the having no car is less about your ability to transport yourself and more about not owning a status symbol or a symbol of one's financial resources. Same for not having your own place and to a much lesser degree, not owning a "real" bed.

On many, many dating profiles women say: "No car? No house? No date." Or something along those lines.

I have seen more than a few that say: "No bedframe or box springs? Dealbreaker!" lol Obviously I am paraphrasing...

[rodeosweetheart]

I don't think there is a right or wrong way to be, I think you just need to get into relationship with people who agree with you in certain areas, and things like minimalism will no longer be something to argue about.

So I like living with a husband who enjoys the fact that I collect seeds and have no desire to stop doing that, and we own three pianos (although one of them is at my mother;s house) or that we spent 1300 dollars to bring his grand piano up here. He's a professional musician, I am an amateur, I own three guitars, a cello, and a flute, we own three pianos.
So what? Now if it makes up unhappy, or we don't have the money to ship something somewhere, then that is a problem we have to work out, in relationship.

Yeah, I am more minimalist than he and wish he would get rid of all the stupid yogurt containers and toilet paper rolls he grows things in in the spring, but the toilet paper rolls really are a cool idea and they biodegrade in the soil, etc. So I think it is a balance, and you have to be sort of on the same page.

I enjoy the hand me down heirlooms I have and I was just out in the barn with my 89 year old mother looking at a rocking chair that looks awful now, but it was her father's, and it makes her feel close to him, and I told her we'd take it in and restore it for her. She's 89 years old, my granddad died in 1947, she feels happy remembering him, and it works for her.

So just like you may not understand why some people find minimalism unattractive, I understand why I would feel criticised and hurt if my husband was knocking the rocking chair or my mother for keeping the rocking chair.

This is why WASPS own houses in the country with barns!

[ApatheticNoMore]

Well it is true if you have no place of your own and your gf does she will realize "it's a good thing both people in this relationship aren't minimal!" since truth is you may hang out at her place if you want some privacy (unless you have the type of roommates that are never around or you can request to give you some privacy - hotels are expensive as well).

[iris lilies]

We will be completing our will this fall. All of our property will be sold (or donated or trashed) and the proceeds will be divided between organizations and siblings. With perhaps one exception or two (very small family heirlooms) i am not foisting my crap on others.

[Ultralight]

We will be completing our will this fall. All of our property will be sold (or donated or trashed) and the proceeds will be divided between organizations and siblings. With perhaps one exception or two (very small family heirlooms) i am not foisting my crap on others.

Excellent!

[Tammy]

My parents - especially dad - are big collectors. Nice stuff of value. But lots of stuff. Two of my siblings mirror that life. My one brother and I don't. We all love each other and don't fight and don't accuse each other of not caring.

In light of all that --- it still feels awkward when our elderly parents want to go through their stuff and give it to the kids. They know I'm not interested in much at all and they laugh about it and accept it. But there is still this underlying thought (in my mind - can't speak for theirs) that somehow I don't value my family as much since I don't want all the stuff.

I can understand your girlfriends statement.

[Tammy]

And I would find a bike date way more appealing than a car date any day. Just saying.