holiday angst?

[Zoe Girl]

I think my holiday prep is going really well, Thanksgiving went well. I have been at work with no one there which is fine. But there is this angst huh. Like I have too many things to decide on what to do. Last night I had time, worked on a baby gift for a baby due in January, tried to make a decision about New Year's Eve, and then just didn't have a clue what to do next. I have 3 separate lists of priorities, things for my retreat committee work, lists for work stuff over the break, some personal stuff. Now I have the holiday list and I am just kinda struggling to set my schedule even though with some serious planning I can get it all done. Hmm,

And without a regular schedule so much I think I am confusing medications and vitamins.

So not all bad, not a crisis at all, but I realize when I hear people talk about holiday stress I have assumed that being more simple or for whatever reason that is everyone else and not me. That that I am superior in anything just that I should be better at all of it. Funny,..

[rodeosweetheart]

I think a lot of the angst depends on expectations of oneself. I have decided to have no expectations for this period and restart my life in January. Getting lots of little stuff done (have been on vacation from main job since the 5th and subjob since the 15th. All of my activity has been organizational, sorting and finishing things.

Low expectations, that is the key, and treating myself very gingerly. My aunt died a couple of days ago so I have been in grief mode, complicated by worrying about helping my parents through it at a distance.

Only decorating has been my new artificial tree, my IKEA candle, and my Danish candleholder--will probably stop by and spring for some new bayberry candles, my New England heritage. The tree went up really early this year and functions as a light source, and has brought us much delight.

Am actually putting off as many decisions as I can as seem to be sleepwalking through the season, and the death has not helped at all with that.

I always do my shopping very early--try to finish by mid November, which helps a whole lot. I remember when I had my respiratory failure and was in a coma--remember very clearly thinking, while in the coma, thank God I got my Christmas shopping done (it happened around the 10th of December.)

I learned a lot from that experience, including that you are conscious and aware in a coma, which is really a scary thing to know, and that Christmas shopping seemed to matter at some level, which struck me as weird, given how being I an altered state with contact with the divine would make it seem that it was unimportant, but it wasn't. Lots of other awarenesses including out of body experiences, but I remember hearing Christmas carolers in the hospital and thinking, boy, they are really off key, and then inwardly laughing about it, and thinking, it was really nice of them to come, stop being so critical.

Anyway, Zoe, maybe you can just say, hey, I'm putting off all decisions for a bit, sort of go into a take it as it comes state. That seems to be helping me.

[Zoe Girl]

Nice thoughts Rodeo, and it is interesting that you thought of gifts in a coma? I am starting to think that there is some place between crazy over the top gifts and no spending low key that is right for me. The gifts do matter, they actually mean something when I give them, so it is okay to have a moderate amount of stress over this. I just saw on facebook that my daughter got the same gift from her secret work elf as I got her (a coloring book of tattoos) so I think it is great they know her well at work and I am going to return mine. Not a huge stress, but there is something surreal about it all.

I know that part of my stress is that we run full day camps during the break so I have a large list of camp and catch up to do that will be very stressful if I wait until we come back. So it is taking care of myself to do it now, however setting my schedule to pace this out nicely is one more task. I think my motto is going to be something like 'there is not one perfect way'. There are so many ways of scheduling and adjusting all this that my mind is boggled! Do I pay that retreat bill first or send the letter to the IRS or vaccumm or wrap presents, there is no one really best answer! What do I feel like doing, well sitting and crocheting but I really have to do these things ya know. Lots of stress from not handling life

So starting with paying the bills,

[ZanaHart]

This reminds me of a time years ago when I taught a class in voluntary simplicity. The main point I made was that simple living isn't that simple!

[Ultralight]

This reminds me of a time years ago when I taught a class in voluntary simplicity. The main point I made was that simple living isn't that simple!

Do tell about this class...

[rodeosweetheart]

Yes, I had forgotten that you are still working over the holiday, which makes it a non-holiday, really! That is tough--you need some time off!!

[Zoe Girl]

Yes, I had forgotten that you are still working over the holiday, which makes it a non-holiday, really! That is tough--you need some time off!!

I am meeting with my job coach about how to advertise the jobs I have. One of the things that was added to our job with the raises (not complaining about the raise thank you) is to be our own hiring manager. So the district does advertise the jobs but I am trying to add it to craigslist. Of course most of the helpful people are taking this time off, argh. I was doing data most of the last 2 days and I could have easily given half of that to my assistant. I also need an aide to clear the wait list for my childcare program and just bring down the stress of being staffed so strictly. Last time I asked for a sub I got no response.

[Zoe Girl]

I looked at my 'take care of me' list and set up all my IRA cd's that mature in January to renew at the new lengths so I am laddered every 6 months through 2019. That feels super good, the other 'take care of me' is actually turning in mileage! Especially shopping and delivering for camp across town multiple times.

[Tammy]

Rodeo sweetheart -

I'd love to hear a little more!

How long was your coma?
Were you aware of all of it or just parts of it?
Did you "sleep" at times!
Did you feel your body - pain, movement when the nurses turned you, etc?

Bring a nurse, this is very interesting to me.

[freshstart]

Rodeo sweetheart -

I'd love to hear a little more!

How long was your coma?
Were you aware of all of it or just parts of it?
Did you "sleep" at times!
Did you feel your body - pain, movement when the nurses turned you, etc?

Bring a nurse, this is very interesting to me.

me, too! I never thought a coma patient would be thinking how glad she was she had her shopping done! So basically if I went into a coma, I'd have actual stress about all I'd left undone. Sheesh, you'd like to think you'd have peace at least in a coma, lol.

I am sorry that you were in a coma at all and I'm sorry about your aunt. Hard time of year for a passing.