resentment

[Teacher Terry]

If I had been depressed for that long I would be exploring medication. But in some ways your depression is serving you-providing you with something you need and whether you ever address it or not depends on the value you are receiving from this condition. We feed whatever serves us even if it is not good for us. This is human nature. At this point you are probably wasting your $ on therapy since you admitted not doing the homework, etc. You are not ready to change and nothing is wrong with that. I would revisit this when you are ready if ever. We are all free to choose our attitude towards life.

[catherine]

I've always found the "some people lived through the Holocaust cheerfully" references unhelpful. They tried that on us in the context of some motivational program or other at work. I guess with the idea that compared to confinement, starvation, and near-certain death, working for Acme wasn't so bad. I don't think anyone bought it.

People come into this world with all kinds of personalities, and most of them are necessary within the context of tribe. You need bold, cautious, creative, steady, adventurous, watchful, cynical, and cheerful people to contribute to the well-being of the group. We're not all cut out to be Merry Sunshine, but if we find the right tribe, we can at least feel as if we're valuable members of it.

I agree, and I'll own the Merry Sunshine of this tribe or any other. I think the point is, do you feel empowered to claim your own life, whatever it is? If you're feeling cornered by your feelings or your circumstances, can you change them? If you're not cornered, be free to be a Steve Jobs, or a Genghis Khan or a Mary Tyler Moore or whoever it is you really are.

[freshstart]

I don't think we can underestimate the power of alteration in brain chemicals in I would guess most depressed people, those who truly have it and not a case of the 'blues". When certain meds worked for me, they just did, I was not doing anything different in therapy or my life. I truly believe (I'm having a bad brain couple of days so bear with me if I use the wrong words, please) the change in brain chemicals was from the meds and not will power or that I had the power to change my emotions, it was and is mostly a brain chemical issue for me.

And oddly, even in the pits of a bout of major depression, somewhere in me I was able to find the happy things in my life and express gratitude for them. I would focus on those things, attend therapy weekly, doing whatever was suggested to try to change a mood disorder. The bottom line- I need meds and probably will for most of my life since it started 18 yrs ago. You can try to choose happiness, you can do CBT or other types of therapy, but I don't believe we are "wimps" if happiness doesn't just magically appear even after very hard work. I am actually a pretty strong, resilient person and major depression has brought me to my knees countless times. I am not "allowing" it to happen, I am not choosing to be unhappy, I am not ungrateful for the wonderful things in my life, I believe, for me, most of the time it's a chemical imbalance that has unfortunately been very resistant to meds. Also, really bad things can happen in my life and one would think these things would trigger a depressive episode but for the most part they don't and I get through those times with my own resilience and therapy. My point is let's not forget the role of brain chemistry.

As an example, I finally gave in and tried the very old group of meds called MAO inhibitors. Within 2 weeks, I felt like the old me of 18 years ago for the very first time, I felt normal. It felt like a miracle. Well, those SOBs have terrible side effects and they bottomed out my blood pressure and practically killed me but I would give anything to have them back. It comes in a patch and that did not carry the terrible side effects but because it coincided with me being very sick, every doctor wanted me off that, they don't like MAOIs. I am hoping to have final clarification on what is wrong with me neuro wise, treat it or whatever and then I am asking for a trial of that patch again. I had a glimpse into the life I could have and OMG I want that. No matter how hard I worked in weekly therapy, I never reached the level of normalcy and joie de vivre that MAOIs unlocked and unlocked very quickly. Unfortunately, I cannot get into the geneticist to see if I have my dad's mitochondrial disorder until June and that will lead to a long period of testing so it's gonna be a long time before I get that patch back. But my shrink does not believe the patch contributed to what is going on because everything started a long time before the MAOIs, I've been off it a year so it's very unlikely my neuro stuff is related to having been on that patch for a short time. Oh, how I want that shot at a new life again, I can't describe how good it felt.

[freshstart]

I agree, and I'll own the Merry Sunshine of this tribe or any other. I think the point is, do you feel empowered to claim your own life, whatever it is? If you're feeling cornered by your feelings or your circumstances, can you change them? If you're not cornered, be free to be a Steve Jobs, or a Genghis Khan or a Mary Tyler Moore or whoever it is you really are.

You be Merry Sunshine but I am claiming Rhoda, that is who I am meant to be, head scarves and all, lol

[catherine]

For sure, depression is a medical condition that calls for the right treatment. freshstart, DH just got a prescription for an MAO inhibitor--for smoking cessation. Since he has a rather low "happiness set point" I'm hoping a side effect will be greater sense of wellbeing.

[Teacher Terry]

FS: Having spent my career in various occupations within human services I know how powerful brain chemistry can be and how hard it can be to find the right meds. I just hate it when people are clinically depressed and won't go on meds even though it is taking a huge toll on their lives. For many of our clients it meant the difference between holding jobs, keeping their relationships intact, etc. As you also mentioned it has to be balanced with the side effects because some of them are permanent and terrible. I really feel sorry when people try various meds but can't find the right one to help. I also hate it when people refuse to go on meds when they could probably really benefit. Our mental health is more then attitude but I was not talking about people with MI or serous depression. I was talking about people that just choose to be unhappy in general.

[freshstart]

FS: Having spent my career in various occupations within human services I know how powerful brain chemistry can be and how hard it can be to find the right meds. I just hate it when people are clinically depressed and won't go on meds even though it is taking a huge toll on their lives. For many of our clients it meant the difference between holding jobs, keeping their relationships intact, etc. As you also mentioned it has to be balanced with the side effects because some of them are permanent and terrible. I really feel sorry when people try various meds but can't find the right one to help. I also hate it when people refuse to go on meds when they could probably really benefit. Our mental health is more then attitude but I was not talking about people with MI or serous depression. I was talking about people that just choose to be unhappy in general.

No, I realize you were not talking about serious depression, I wasn't trying to imply that.

It is very sad when you think someone would benefit from even a low dose of something temporarily and they won't try it. There's so much stigma. I rarely told anyone I had depression for so many years because of stigma, now after all these years, i am past that. It was stupid of me to believe the stigma when I knew as a nurse there is nothing to be ashamed of. It was ok for everyone else to take meds and talk about it except when it came to myself. Letting friends and family in on it was freeing and I got nothing but support for the most part.

[freshstart]

For sure, depression is a medical condition that calls for the right treatment. freshstart, DH just got a prescription for an MAO inhibitor--for smoking cessation. Since he has a rather low "happiness set point" I'm hoping a side effect will be greater sense of wellbeing.

wow, haven't heard of using that for smoking, good for him, I hope it works. If he's on a pill, they gave you the MAOI diet, right? certain foods can be fatal. with the patch, no diet necessary

[ApatheticNoMore]

. Our mental health is more then attitude but I was not talking about people with MI or serous depression. I was talking about people that just choose to be unhappy in general.

How would one even know, only by trying meds I suppose.

[Teacher Terry]

There are screening tools a professional would use to help decide if you have situational depression or clinical depression. Some people with situational still use meds but not permanently to help them get through that time. Also not all meds work for everyone so often it is a combination of trial and error. I know for some people it is the difference between not functioning well at all and having a good life.