Another Tale of Financial Woe

[Ultralight]

And that in a nutshell is a great example of reality intruding in the idea that everyone should be wiling to move to wherever the good paying jobs are. It's all well and good for people to say 'these people should do this or that,' but despite the best attempts to ignore it, the fact is that people are still individuals with different needs, wants, desires, motivations.

I cannot blame anyone for wanting to stay with their family. But if your choice is between feeding your family and being far away vs. starving right alongside your family then what does one do?

I used to work for a construction workers' union. The guys had to "boom out." If there was no work at home (often the case) they'd go to where construction was booming and get work. So they would go months and months sometimes barely seeing their family. Sure, their wives cheated on them and they cheated on their wives. And yeah, their kids were like strangers to them. But the guys were able to pay their child support bills and keep a roof over their kids' heads and maybe afford to send their kids to college. This is all that is left of the American Dream -- pay your child support, pay your bills, maybe your kid lives a better life than you -- and this last part is a real gamble.

I ain't saying this is good or fair. But life is not always good and it is almost never fair.

[Ultralight]

this is exactly right. Trump appeals to all of those who had better jobs years ago. I worked for the coal industry for 20 years. Good pay, great benefits.
I will never do that well again and it is hard to come to terms with.

Younger folks look at you and say: "Well, at least you had a good run of it for a little while. We don't even get that."

[jp1]

I cannot blame anyone for wanting to stay with their family. But if your choice is between feeding your family and being far away vs. starving right alongside your family then what does one do?

Let me present an example. It's from the distant past, but it agrees with you, but also has its own heartbreaking decision. Back during the depression my grandmother had tuberculosis. At the time there was no cure, but it was known that living in a dry climate would extend one's life significantly. Unfortunately for my grandmother she had lived her entire life in southern Missouri. Not a dry climate. My father was the youngest of three children and most of his memories of his mother are of her living in the state hospital for consumptives. Although my grandfather was aware that his wife would do much better if they moved out west to a dry climate the reality was that he had a good job working in a foundary and was able to support himself, 3 children, his wife in the hospital, and his wife's parents (one of whom was paralyzed due to polio) who lived with him and his children. Quiting that job to take a chance to move west in the hope of saving his wife's life at the risk of his whole family starving didn't seem like a good idea. Not to mention that he'd never left the state of Missouri in his life. My grandmother died 11 months before antibiotics became publicly available and tuberculosis became just a memory for everyone that had been sick. Who knows whether my grandfather made the right decision or not.

[Tenngal]

Younger folks look at you and say: "Well, at least you had a good run of it for a little while. We don't even get that."

Agreed! I have a 29 yr old with a 2 yr degree who works at Cracker Barrel. Part time, fights for hours, works a crazy schedule. This is the life of many in their 20s.

[Ultralight]

Agreed! I have a 29 yr old with a 2 yr degree who works at Cracker Barrel. Part time, fights for hours, works a crazy schedule. This is the life of many in their 20s.

I think there is a way out of the rut she is in. But I don't think that she, or others like her (myself included), will reach the previous greatness of generations that came before.

My career and income trajectory is downward, which is the norm nowadays. I accept this as I am nothing special -- not a math whiz or a scientist -- just a workin' schlub punching the clock for the gubmint.

[ApatheticNoMore]

Parts of my family moved out west to California (from New York) way back when for the weather for health reasons (as it's a warm dry climate), though it's far from the easiest place for me to make a living. But they did move for health.

I cannot blame anyone for wanting to stay with their family. But if your choice is between feeding your family and being far away vs. starving right alongside your family then what does one do?

I think one chooses to stay sometimes if the choices aren't as stark. Better economic opportunities elsewhere versus getting by where you are, well if one can get by .....

I used to work for a construction workers' union. The guys had to "boom out." If there was no work at home (often the case) they'd go to where construction was booming and get work. So they would go months and months sometimes barely seeing their family. Sure, their wives cheated on them and they cheated on their wives. And yeah, their kids were like strangers to them. But the guys were able to pay their child support bills and keep a roof over their kids' heads and maybe afford to send their kids to college. This is all that is left of the American Dream -- pay your child support, pay your bills, maybe your kid lives a better life than you -- and this last part is a real gamble.

their kids have almost ZERO chance of having a better life than them and not just because of "the economy" (although it certainly doesn't help), years of absentee fathers and it will take a psychological toll even though their mother is the primary caretaker. Since they have no role models they probably won't be able to form decent relationships themselves (which they might be able to pull off and do plausibly financially *IF* they don't have kids, but when they are raising kids as single parents - they have their financial struggles cut out for them). No those kids never had much of a chance, regardless of what their deluded fathers like to think (should have just used birth control - I mean divorce and stuff happens but if you know ahead of time you can't be there for your kids, probably not a good idea to have kids) though a few people will overcome all odds.

[Ultralight]

Parts of my family moved out west to California (from New York) way back when for the weather for health reasons (as it's a warm dry climate), though it's far from the easiest place for me to make a living. But they did move for health.



I think one chooses to stay sometimes if the choices aren't as stark. Better economic opportunities elsewhere versus getting by where you are, well if one can get by .....



their kids have almost ZERO chance of having a better life than them and not just because of "the economy" (although it doesn't help), years of absentee fathers and it will take a psychological toll even though their mother is the primary caretaker, since they have no role models they probably won't be able to form decent relationships themselves (which they might be able to pull off and do plausibly financially *IF* they don't have kids, but when they are raising kids as single parents - they have their financial struggles cut out for them). No those kids never had much of a chance, regardless of what their deluded fathers like to think (should have just used birth control) though a few people will overcome all odds.

Awful bleak.