Does anyone know of any good online support groups for caregivers of aging parents? Both my parents (85 and 86) still live alone in their own home, but I'm having to help them out more and more and have run into a few issues that I have no idea how to handle. I need to start looking at it from a caregiver's perspective instead of "daughter helping out the folks once in a while." If you know of any, can you throw me some links?
And if anyone has any ideas to throw my way on one of the issues, feel free to chime in! The issue is that my Mom absolutely, flat out refuses to go to the doctor or dentist. Even though she has unchecked gum disease and a couple of months ago two of her bottom teeth fell out so it makes it harder for her to keep her bottom partial plate in. It makes it difficult to eat, and she brushes it off like it's no big deal. No, she hasn't been diagnosed with dementia or alzheimers (because we can't get her to the doctor to have her tested). Most of the time she is "normal". She has always been extremely hard headed and stubborn, and a master manipulator. Dad and I can't tell if her adamant refusal of all medical care is stubbornness because she hates going to the doctor or dentist with a passion, or because it's mild dementia starting to creep in. Seriously, her level of stubbornness on this issue is a wonder to behold. We've tried to reason with her, we've tried begging, I've even, out of desperation, tried to shame her into going. Short of making an appointment behind her back and tricking her there, or bodily picking her up and forcing her into the car, there isn't any argument or plea we can put forth that will change her mind. It's baffling, and neither my Dad nor I know what to do next. If we trick her into going, her wrath towards us will not be pretty and it will just make it that much harder to get her to go back. I'm concerned that her health is going to deteriorate, and I'm also concerned that someone will accuse us of neglect/abuse for not getting her medical treatment. Trust me, we want her to get treatment, but how on earth do we get her there without kidnapping her?