I've always taken it for granted that I have three siblings--all brothers. As I've mentioned, I went out to Minnesota to visit my oldest brother who has debilitating vascular issues. Tomorrow he goes back to the hospital for a procedure to clear a blockage in his femoral artery. His mind is intact, but he depends on my SIL for almost everything. I have tried to come to terms with the idea that he may not be long for this world.
My youngest brother has recently been diagnosed with "aggressive" prostate cancer. As we speak, he is having a PET scan to see if it has metastasized. If it hasn't, prognosis is pretty good. If it has, prognosis takes a deep dive. He lives alone, is a recovering alcoholic, sober for almost 3 years. A PIA when drunk, but a gentle soul when sober.
I face the fact that by the end of the decade, there's a good possibility I'll be down two siblings. The thought is very painful, but I'm not good at handling this kind of pain.
I can't be of any practical help for my Midwestern brother. My SIL is all he needs, really. She is awesome. But, I feel really bad for my youngest brother because he's alone. My middle brother (DB2) and SIL are really good people. They happen to live only 2 miles from the VA hospital where DB3 is getting care, so he is staying with them.
For those of you who are experienced with giving support to sick people, what is your advice? I didn't do well with my mother when she was sick--I was firmly in denial. How can I best be there for both brothers? By nature, I'm very stoic, and I'm not sure if that's a benefit or a drawback at times like these.
I would like to hear your thoughts and experiences as someone needing support or giving support.