mental illness at work

[Zoe Girl]

I am trying really hard, because I know I have talked about M before, but I just can't stand her and her issues. She is the one I have probably shared about before, she takes up too much space in meetings ALL the time, can't seem to understand things so keeps asking the same questions, is extremely negative, and then offers that she has ADD or depression. I am not thinking that is BS, and that is really unusual for me to say that. I have avoided her over summer since I can't attend many meetings, and today I just heard the story of her annual review (so private I can't think about breathing a work with real life people). She got a 3 (scale of 1-5), now she has a supervisor who is brand new to our department so she escalated her complaining with him until he took her to the head of the department and she proved her case and got increased to a 4. Who knew you could do that? Even with my very low score I never thought about taking it and arguing it to the head of the department. EVERY meeting she takes up too much space, expresses negativity publicly and privately, I can't even sit next to her anymore because I keep on having to tell her I am trying to listen to the speaker (but she still finds a way to sit with me), a few co-workers have snapped at her in meetings, she refuses to participate when we have group team builders (they are corny but that is part of what we do). She got so frustrated one time she threw markers across the table at me. I feel bad for the new guy, the next day she openly said that she does not care about the big district vision plan, it didn't interest her. Part of the score includes being part of a team, tying your site goals into the district vision and being able to show data that supports this. So where does that leave all of us who manage ourselves positively on a team! Suckers really, I know I couldn't act like that for even one meeting.

I am happy with my evaluation and my work this year, that is not the issue. I think this will make her even worse and I have no game face left with her. I find myself coping by reading about mental illness and diagnosing her and making up little stories with her as a villain. I have always known there are problem people at work or other places, I just didn't expect her to be around 6 years later and getting worse. Yeah, my naivety. I did tell my one coworker that I share with that the only thing left is for her to be promoted, and we will start a mosh pit right in the department meeting announcement. On a serious note I have never complained about her because everyone knows but I need to tell my supervisor because I feel sitting next to her is bad for my career, and I may have to take an extra bathroom break on a bad day.

Thank you for letting me share, and if you have any little meeting tips for horrible people I would love to hear them. I can doodle or make up stories, but I can't really put in headphones when she starts to speak.

[iris lilies]

You are fortunate that you are not her supervisor.

But it sounds as though she has had a series of weak supervisors who will not give her the boot.

[Miss Cellane]

How is this person still employed? She threw things at her co-workers. I don't care if they were only markers, this is something that just would not be tolerated in most workplaces.

Maybe that one incident wouldn't get her fired, but it sure would get her a stern talking-to by a manager/supervisor.

Start documenting her behavior. And start complaining. It is possible that Management can't do anything until they have formal records of her behavior.

It's best if you keep the complaints to things that affect your work. "Boss, could you go over the plan we came up with at the this morning's meeting? I couldn't hear the final details. Why? Cindy Lou kept talking to me, even though I asked her to be quiet so that I could hear you. And since I've got several tasks in that plan, I need to know what they are."

It seems you are in that place where Management won't change things, unless it becomes easier to change things than to keep things the way they are. If you all start pointing out the problems she causes, every time they happen, Management may come to the realization that a) this is not a good employee and b) it would be easier to let her go than to continue to have to deal with the multiple complaints about her.

[Zoe Girl]

Thank you both! I know she has been talked to for years about some of this and the last straw was hearing she got a higher score as a reward for her crappy behavior. Weak supervisors is hitting the nail on the head. I really like the head of our department and so seeing her as a weak supervisor is better than other things I was thinking. The tips are really helpful, I would listen to a staff better with concrete information. It really is how I deal with kids and families with behavior. Short, non-judgmental observations with impact and possibly consequences. I can have some really sh**y conversations (yeah they are courageous, they still suck) and have some results, calm people down, build trust, etc. Even stopping fights between adults several times! But it seems that those skills are not understood because other people don't have them and can't even see them.

I have a problem staff this summer, okay you always have one, and I realize that I am tempted to just put off the last issue and not talk to her since it is only 3 days left but that is what everyone is doing. Passing around problems, I even saw some of the signs with 2 of my summer staff and kept asking for information. I would have still hired them but it would be good to know what I was getting before things blew up. So this reminds me I really have to have that last conversation with her as part of her coaching. I heard the supervisor team thought she would do better with me this summer but didn't tell me anything about her.

I have wondered for a long time if she has been considered protected in her job because she is very open about her ADD. I see this when we have kids in program with special needs, it is a fine line but you can suspend or expel a kid with special needs under certain circumstances. I have heard mostly that we either accomodate to the point it affects the program negatively overall or try to dump them quickly. Neither is appropriate, behavior plans, documentation, support with extra staff, and then you are covered if you need to let them go. It takes a lot of work and maturity to do this, one of my frustrations when they keep promoting people who don't have that! Also the weak leadership was shown in the 'bad year', lots of supervisors trash talking us, being harsh, giving low reviews with no previous conversations, huge turnover. Then this year has been more positive and fair, I think the team of supervisors got a serious talking to after the bad year. I have not been yelled at once, But then they need to learn to manage problems effectively as well.

[nswef]

I support the idea of documentation. Even when it doesn't give the result you want....at least you have it in writing that you are not crazy and these things truly are happening. Good luck.

[iris lilies]

How is this person still employed? She threw things at her co-workers. I don't care if they were only markers, this is something that just would not be tolerated in most workplaces.

Maybe that one incident wouldn't get her fired, but it sure would get her a stern talking-to by a manager/supervisor.

Start documenting her behavior. And start complaining. It is possible that Management can't do anything until they have formal records of her behavior.

It's best if you keep the complaints to things that affect your work. "Boss, could you go over the plan we came up with at the this morning's meeting? I couldn't hear the final details. Why? Cindy Lou kept talking to me, even though I asked her to be quiet so that I could hear you. And since I've got several tasks in that plan, I need to know what they are."

It seems you are in that place where Management won't change things, unless it becomes easier to change things than to keep things the way they are. If you all start pointing out the problems she causes, every time they happen, Management may come to the realization that a) this is not a good employee and b) it would be easier to let her go than to continue to have to deal with the multiple complaints about her.

Good idea, I just would not bother ro "document" a co-workers behavior. There isnt a point to building a file if the OP doesn't supervise the problem employee. The OP can help to build such a file by registering complaints, as you memtion.

Register complaints about this person's behavior that affect YOUR work experience, that builds the case documentation. In other words, dont report her behavior unless it affects YOU. You arent reporting for other people, thats what her supervisors do.

[ToomuchStuff]

Taking complaints to your super and/or HR would be the way to go, along with learning actual keywords. As mentioned the case of throwing markers is in legal terms, assault. Using those terms means a response is mandated.