Discussing marriage

[mira]

^ We live together as a couple, not as roommates.

[iris lily]

^ We live together as a couple, not as roommates.

I knew that, really!

I probably am not being clear. I think that assuming a level of commitment, without conversing about it and seeing demonstrated evidence, is a mistake, that's all. This may not apply to you in any way.

[Tammy]

Is living together necessarily a monogamous relationship?

Just asking. To me, living together has no inherent intent or meaning. I've heard people get upset because one person in a living together situation starts dating someone else. Unless there was discussion and clear agreement about monogamy I don't know that I would expect it.

The same can be said for many marriages. Unless something is verbally communicated, nothing can be assumed any more.

[puglogic]

I think living together is manifestation enough of our desire for long-term commitment to one another. This may not be true of all couples, but certainly being in a long-term monogamous relationship (and putting in the work to maintain it!) is very important to us both. Marriage is not necessary to demonstrate that.

I only started seriously thinking about marriage after having lived together for maybe a year. Talking about it before moving in together would have been jumping the gun a little as far as the natural pace of the relationship is concerned, in my opinion.

I get this. We're all different in this regard, and you alone can 'read' your boyfriend's feelings on this. I knew enough about my husband's feelings about cohabitation to know that living together was a trial period to see if we were compatible enough to marry. He's fairly unorthodox in many regards, but in terms of partnering for life, he has some traditional values. And I had every intention of walking away if it didn't look like we could be good partners -- I don't NEED to be part of a couple to be happy.

But it turned out.....rather nice