Ya know I also freeform crochet dragon puppets, just saying,Originally Posted by catherine
Ya know I also freeform crochet dragon puppets, just saying,
OMG, I feel so sorry for everyone caught in these ridiculous gift giving/receiving stories. When did our lives become buying and giving "stuff" with rules and guilt and anger? Why do we tolerate it? I do have to say that our family is not into presents at any occasion. Somehow we just don't need it.
I give someone something when I want to and when I love them. I don't really care if someone gives me something in return. But I am always happy to be thought of at any time. One of my best "presents" ever was a thank you card from a boss about something I had done.
Mom struggled for years trying to give us things. I think we have finally gotten her to put a little cash in a handmade card and be happy.
Fortunately our families are sensible about gifting. It does not take place in my family at all, and it has not for years.
DH and his siblings flirt with little gifts for each other but I dont think there is a pattern or specfcs expectations, but if there is, I dont know what it is because I dont pay attention, that is all his deal to handle.
Decades ago in his family we drew names and furnished lists and all of that tiresome stuff, and also one was expected to buy something for each child. But those days are long over, yay!
I do think it is worth revisiting the long standing traditions of gifting when all of the grandchildren grow up. Many times people are ready to chuck it.
Our close friend who I have written about takes the cake in excessive gifting, but she is open hearted, there are no rules or resentment, there is just piles of crap that follow us home. That is pretty easy to deal with in the long run, compared to what many of you go through.
Last edited by iris lilies; 10-16-16 at 6:43pm.
Just a shout out for my old mother in law, may she rest in peace. I don't think she ever gave me any physical gifts per se. She did teach me to say "my son" in Russian. She made a trip out to my house to see her grandsons baptized. She told me wonderful stories about my husband as a little boy that made me understand him better. she was a kind person and I am grateful to have had her in my life.
One of the things that makes me a little nuts about her is that she informed everyone when the grandchildren were little, that they would be getting a check and one gift (usually candy, cheap jewelry, maybe a keychain) once they turned 12, and nothing once they turned 18. So the grandchildren sit and watch the aunts and uncles open presents they don't need or want - the youngest turns 12 this year (she was also appalled that we still bought toys for our kids after age 8)
My dd who is 24 and living in her first house presented me with a whole list of things I could ask grandma for, each item followed by "and give me yours."
Shopping for her is going to be easy....
I have had 3 MIL's. 2 were wonderful and 1 awful. One of my 3 sons has married and I have made a big effort to be a good MIL and my DIL appreciates it. WE have had a few misunderstandings but have always worked it out and we love each other. It anyone should get gifts it should be the kids and young adults who need it and not the older adults. I would refuse to participate in such crap. When I first started to read this thread I was thinking $ for materials and then I see you already thought of that. That is perfect and needed. I usually take my adult kids out to eat at a nice restaurant for their gift and actually only buy gifts for 2 people. About 8 years ago all my friends decided we did not need to buy each other gifts. If I had grandchildren I would of course buy for them.
My MIL was good. she kept,her mouth shut althiug I am sure I did lots of things to bug her.I married her eldest child, the one who lived at the their family farm until he was about 32 or so. But she wanted him to get up and out of there, so she welcomed marriage!
She said yes!
Wonderful! Now you can genuinely thank her for this gift, a genuinely happy Christmas!
Not a MIL issue but an elderly friend from my hometown recently sent me a request to pick up some specific items at the "As Seen on TV" store in my town to bring to her next time I'm up to see my parents (she wants to christmas shop early). All I could think was Dear God, just send people a card with a heart felt note...not As Seen on TV junk. But my love language is going out of the way to meet the needs of others....so I'll do it.
Float On: My "Happy Place" is on my little kayak in the coves of Table Rock Lake.
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