I made it to page 24 before I could no longer read them. Good thing I have a spine and decided early in our marriage that we would not travel over holidays because it was expensive and dangerous.Originally Posted by iris lilies
I made it to page 24 before I could no longer read them. Good thing I have a spine and decided early in our marriage that we would not travel over holidays because it was expensive and dangerous.
Yeah, I have a spine, but also a heart, lol! Nonetheless, the year we got stranded in motels for 3 days at Christmas was the Scroogey nail in my coffin.
Yet this year, this year, may try to go to parents, as fear will not have this opportunity in future, and it is weighing heavily on me.
I know, it is tough when the elderly parents may not be around longer. Do they have money they could give you for this!You dont have to a answer, and I know it is crazy hard to ask if youve been completely independant for decades.
Same for us. We really love our parants, but it is really hard not to be mad at them during the holiday season. Even when our kids were babies, they expected us to spend all the holidays on the road an visit them. My mother-in-law even has her birthay on December 23. One day before Christmas, can you imagine something better driving through snow and ice with two little kids just for a short visit?
Plus, I can't stand the crap they buy our kids for Christmas. 5 for 6 presents for each kid is way too much and overwhelming for them, burying them in stuff. From us, the kids get one gift each, and after dinner we play with them and their new toys. They are too small to ask for the money it cost, they simply enjoy the gifts and it is a lot of fun. As for our parents, I know they love their grandchildren and want to give them gifts. But on the one hand too much is not good for them, and it seems also to be little challenge, who of them spends the most for the kids.
So they expect us to visit both parents and parents-in-law, the ones we visit second are always offended. When we are there, you will get the full christmas horror: Overheated rooms, a lot of fat meals, a lot of plastic crap as presents, stress, arguing...
We try to fight this for a few years now. It took a while and our parents were quite piqued. But it is not our job just to fulfill their expectations in christmas on our back. So we will stay at home with the kids on christmas, and we visit one of them each year just after the holidays, the other one is welcomed to visit us afterwards. Next year it is the other way round. And we also asked them to buy one present per kid. Not more. I they like to put some extra money on their savings account instead, fine.
It worked quite well last year, let's see what this year brings...
BTW, we had the warmest September in decades, and in stores you could buy christmas sweets from Sept 1 - yuk!
Found this list on flylady of ideas for clutter free gifts: http://www.flylady.net/d/cruising-th...t-ideas/women/ there's a similar list for men and children on there too.
I think my major gripe this year is how fall is completely skipped. This town, a tourist area, use to do up fall really big. Lots of fall festivals, lots of fall decorating. Town has been decorating for Christmas festivals for 3 weeks now. We already have an 80 ft tree at the first circle. Crews are busy throwing lights on every fence, pole, tree, and sign every where you go. Ugh. I'm done already.
Float On: My "Happy Place" is on my little kayak in the coves of Table Rock Lake.
FloatOn, that's crazy!
This year I'll continue with lots of cards. A FB group for an author I love did a card exchange last year. Folks are across the globe. It was so neat getting cards from international senders.
I'll bake lots of my cherry scones. Those were a huge hit last year. I've already started stocking up on the dried cherries from Aldi.
Only gift I actually buy will be for my 11 yo goddaughter. I'm getting her an experience gift - her own Discover Scuba intro class. I can be in the water with them since I'm already certified. I already cleared it with her parents who asked goddaughter if she was interested. She is thrilled and is really excited after seeing my recent diving pics.
I love that idea!
A frugal moms message board I'm in does a homemade Christmas ornament exchange. Its been going on for 13 years now. I never took part and now kind of wish I had.
Float On: My "Happy Place" is on my little kayak in the coves of Table Rock Lake.
Iris Lilies, I made it thru all 147 pages and learned a lot. Mostly I learned that others have it a lot worse than we do and we learned these lessons a long, long time ago. Thanks for the website. Might read some of the other topics.
Hardest lesson was learning how to say NO and then to not give excuses.
I remember back in the the days when we did go to DH's parents for Christmas it was the big chaotic over heated no-where-to-escape event that others write about, but his family are all good. it was the driving aganst snow and ice and the time away from home that I really did not like.
But his sister, every year, piled her four kids and husband and scads of presents and food into the car for a 4 hour drive coming from the north, so more snow and ice. I used to feel sorry for her. But one year I mentionned that and she said that they come to her parents because she thinks it is FUN! She likes giving her children the tradition of visiting both sets of grandparents (they all lived in the same small town) over the holidays, it was never an obligation.
So we all have different expectations.
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