Freststart, your son's comment about "rape" is ridiculous. Ugh!
Freststart, your son's comment about "rape" is ridiculous. Ugh!
I sort of gave up on the Christmas cheer after dealing with retail work. As a kid and through adulthood I was always sick during the holidays and school break. I also have a birthday in the week leading up to Christmas. It is all too much for me to cope with. Never had a birthday party since it is right before Christmas either. My kids can facebook or whatever all the time but rarely contact me either. I kept busy working on genealogy (a psychologist would have fun with that connection).
Really, a disappointment? You said in another thread, that he effectively did the same thing, the year prior, and you expected a different result? (you did predict it, and then ignored your prediction) You have also said he hasn't been close to you and emancipated himself from you since he was 15.Originally Posted by freshstart
You also just mentioned that you didn't respect their belief's and wishes, and are surprised they learned the same?
Did you say anything to your son, along the lines of what you told your daughter: "I told her the only gift I want is time with her"?
Have you noticed the pattern, of the needing to be in contact with him, the further you have driven him away, yet?
FS: I an really sorry for how you were treated and your parents by ungrateful kids. I hope they grow up someday. TMS: that was really mean and uncalled for
I didn't say I didn't respect their beliefs in terms of atheism, I respect that and told them so. I did not put up a big tree or go heavy handed on past Christmas traditions. And I do see the pattern of the more I "chase" Adam, the further away he gets, that's why I left it up to him if he was going to come over for Christmas, I didn't ask for a response, I expected nothing from him and I got it. And I did not tell him the only gift I wanted was time with him because we were not communicating these past 5 mos, asking him that would've pushed him further away. And I was disappointed because I had hoped he had grown up a bit during his months in AZ. Even though we are effectively estranged, I will always be disappointed by a negative interaction (like the rape comment) because he is still my son and I love him unconditionally.
Being in college/trade school, he probably just recently went through some orientation that explained that NO means NO, and unwanted touching is the same as, instead of the legal assault, sexual assault and rape that the law has.
That is part of the point. Their brains are still developing and she is trying to rush something that in the end is there decision. Not everyone stays in contact with all members of their families, there are falling outs, and missed chances for goodbyes, etc.FS: I an really sorry for how you were treated and your parents by ungrateful kids. I hope they grow up someday. TMS: that was really mean and uncalled for
Life isn't all happy things, and for certain, we don't see his posts to see any other viewpoint. For all I know his concerns with work and how much he is making, could be his way of preparing for what he thinks he may have inherited in medical problems and how he needs to save for it. I saw her other posts, predicting the other way and this post just appears to me as head in sand.
It is really horrible when one parent makes the other parent the bad guy. It hurts their child more then the other parent. Every time you say something bad about the other parent you may have just stuck a knife in your own child. I used to use that visual to get people to understand what they were doing. My ex and I never, ever have said one bad word about the other and go out of our way to remain friendly even though our kids are in their 30-40's. FS: you can only control your own behavior and not your ex's. So sorry you got the raw deal in this matter.
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