It'd be even better if she just didn't wear underwear.Originally Posted by JaneV2.0
It'd be even better if she just didn't wear underwear.
No, I really only say silly stuff like this around friends and the like.
I tend to be gentlemanly and considerate on dates. But if someone is going to really get to know me, then I let out my sillier side. Though I do make a point to let someone know I can be a joker and off-color and wacky sometimes.
I bet if you did a survey of women I have taken on dates they'd all say something like this: "Nice guy. Paid for dinner and the rest of the date. He asked questions, was forthright, and treated me with respect. He's a real character though!"
You compared your failure to conceal your judging expression to a barking dog - I was just running with the metaphor.
I spent most of my life not drinking and never judged others who did including family, friends, etc. I would serve it if having a dinner or party, etc. I did not drink at all until my kids were launched and I had more time to go out with friends, etc. Most the women my son met wanted to have kids and it was a definite no for him. Fortunately, he met his soul mate and she did not want any either. It is expensive to get a fiancee visa, etc. Also you have to make enough $ to support the person you bring over for 10 years and if not another family member has to sign that they will support them if need be. They do not want them on any type of assistance.
oh for heavens sake, it's NOT a biological urge! Sex might be a biological urge, but even the strength of that urge varies greatly among people with some much below or above typical.The no kids thing might not go over with a lot of women unless they were infertile to begin with. Biological urges can be very strong.
But having kids is not a biological urge at all, it may be a desire, it may be perceived as something worth doing in life etc.
I suspect most people do it because it is how they think their life can be meaningful in some way (some people do enjoy playing with kids as well of course, so they enjoy the company of kids, but there is still a bit of a leap there to wanting one's own). Some maybe just have kids because they wonder if they are missing something if they don't.
Trees don't grow on money
If it's biological, I wonder if our primitive ancestors experienced it, assuming they didn't understand the baby-making process and presumably didn't have much choice in the matter (kind of a rhetorical musing). I've never had the slightest twinge of desire to breed--maybe I didn't get a copy of the mest gene. And I know quite a few women who don't seem compelled--of the five female cousins in my family, two of us bothered to have children.
Obviously, only some women will have a biological childbearing urge. But I kind of think that's what nature has in mind. Survive long enough to procreate. I had absolutely no interest in having a kid but surprise, one came along, and I was hooked and wanted another. Good thing we have choices now for those who aren't interested. Maybe UL, it's not the particulars, but that you are rigid in the particulars. No babies I get however.
I would assume the question comes up (why don't you want kids), during the dates, to which you reply (already had the vasectomy/done the responsible thing). I had a relative that years ago did that, and eventually, they fostered then adopted some other relatives kids, after that relative was abusive (he had grown attached to them by then). So in my view, that could change and differs from not wanting your own.
I don't get the whole Atheist thing being a big thing, unless your a militant atheist:
I would think something more like Christopher Hitchens or Stephen Fry's view (believe what makes you feel good, but don't push it on me), might be the better way to approach your dates. I would think they would run more, if your theistic view involved being a member of the Church of Satan, as a friend of mine was. (preacher for them in the military)
biological urges are things like hunger, thirst, sex (although plenty of variation). To equate wanting to have kids with that seems just inaccurate. People want many things that aren't biological urges of course. and some may be driven subtly by biological factors, but that's not like the hunger drive or something which is what comes to mind using a term as strong as biological urge. I'm not sure why one should particularly care what nature had in mind either. "Because nature" seems a most silly reason for having kids, but then I don't think that is anyone's reason anyway. I think people have kids for cultural reasons (peer and family pressure), intellectual reasons, meaning making reasons (to have a purpose) mostly and yea some of them even like kids.
Trees don't grow on money
I am an outspoken anti-theist. But I believe in freedom of (and just as importantly -- from!) religion. Isn't that good enough?
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