33 days with no smoking and 14 with no patch/gum/lozenge. Today was VERY hard. I am seeing the hard spots and am working through them. It is not a great thing in some ways that only a very few people know what I am dealing with because I am very private and don't want to be a combo of a pity party and social pariah thank you very much. Still a scorpio is quitting smoking and no one has suffered bodily harm!
What makes it hard
* being really tired, I had to do morning program today (before 7 am) due to a staff being called for jury duty and then go shopping for spring break camp tonight and got home after 9 pm.
* meetings, specific meetings with specific groups, I don't understand it fully but I leave either angry or literally in tears in my car on leaving.
* micro-managed, disrespected, yeah I can spend some lovely time figuring out that people do not intend to disrespect me with micromanaging but I still struggle with that, in the middle of quitting is not the time to stuff or judge too many feelings.
What is great
* Our meditation group has lots of people in recovery, and I have had success when I decided to treat this like a real addiction instead of an annoying habit, we had a great meeting last night
* I am at 70+ days of daily meditation, some are 5 minutes but every day makes a difference
* my brain medication, it smooths some things out and I am more stable with it.
Some great news, my son and his girlfriend bought stop smoking supplies!!
Reply With Quote