dating is so hard

[freshstart]

I had my first Plenty of Fish guy. Perfectly nice Egyptian man wanted to go to the Cheesecake Factory on Weds. I try to generate chat but he was shy. So I just keep asking him questions, it began to feel like a job interview. He wanted to go out Friday but could not think of a single things to do, I suggested a movie and he said he doesn't like the movies. So I suggested we go t his fav restaurant, Chili's even though I really don't care for it or so many chain restaurants. is interests are few: reading the paper and watching horror movies on tv. I realized I would never be content with that. I need a man who reads, likes plays and independent film, likes to do stuff. So I Dear Johned him very nicely. Too nicely, I got 12 texts from him begging to be friends, please see him once a week, etc. That was last night, then 4 more today. It was like I was stepping on a puppy's head, I felt do bad.

Bachelor #3 is from the UK, but lives here, handsome, good job. His wife died in a car crash and he has a 10 yr old son. he starts sending pages long emails about love at first sight, destiny, all this flower-y crap you don't say to someone you've never met. Thank God we switched to texting so no more pages and pages about how certain he is that I'm the one. So he's flying out of town last night so I asked who watches his son. He goes, "I told you, he lives with his grandmother in the UK. But she is getting sick that's why I need a good wife and good children for him to be around." WTH, he did not tell me that! Who leaves their little boy behind when he's lost his mother? Plus, he was always asking questions about my health (I am being upfront with the I'm not up to par with everyone I meet and disclose I have not been cleared for work), what am I eating (I'm fat) like he wants to make sure I really am slimming down. He even asked me what heart meds do I take for the POT syndrome! Now it all makes sense, I am being interviewed for role of mother to his child. Not cool at all. So I'm going to have to Dear John him. I don't know if I physically could take care of a 10 yr old and I'm not sure I want to. Is that too cold? I wouldn't mind if I got to know someone well and I eventually became close to his kids but I am not looking to be an insta-wife and mom.

[Ultralight]

I had my first Plenty of Fish guy. Perfectly nice Egyptian man wanted to go to the Cheesecake Factory on Weds. I try to generate chat but he was shy. So I just keep asking him questions, it began to feel like a job interview. He wanted to go out Friday but could not think of a single things to do, I suggested a movie and he said he doesn't like the movies. So I suggested we go t his fav restaurant, Chili's even though I really don't care for it or so many chain restaurants. is interests are few: reading the paper and watching horror movies on tv. I realized I would never be content with that. I need a man who reads, likes plays and independent film, likes to do stuff. So I Dear Johned him very nicely. Too nicely, I got 12 texts from him begging to be friends, please see him once a week, etc. That was last night, then 4 more today. It was like I was stepping on a puppy's head, I felt do bad.

Bachelor #3 is from the UK, but lives here, handsome, good job. His wife died in a car crash and he has a 10 yr old son. he starts sending pages long emails about love at first sight, destiny, all this flower-y crap you don't say to someone you've never met. Thank God we switched to texting so no more pages and pages about how certain he is that I'm the one. So he's flying out of town last night so I asked who watches his son. He goes, "I told you, he lives with his grandmother in the UK. But she is getting sick that's why I need a good wife and good children for him to be around." WTH, he did not tell me that! Who leaves their little boy behind when he's lost his mother? Plus, he was always asking questions about my health (I am being upfront with the I'm not up to par with everyone I meet and disclose I have not been cleared for work), what am I eating (I'm fat) like he wants to make sure I really am slimming down. He even asked me what heart meds do I take for the POT syndrome! Now it all makes sense, I am being interviewed for role of mother to his child. Not cool at all. So I'm going to have to Dear John him. I don't know if I physically could take care of a 10 yr old and I'm not sure I want to. Is that too cold? I wouldn't mind if I got to know someone well and I eventually became close to his kids but I am not looking to be an insta-wife and mom.

My female friends have told me that the insta-wife/insta-mom thing is commonly sought after.

[Tybee]

Freshstart, the stories you are telling about this online dating site are so awful that I don't understand why you would not take all of your information off that site immediately. It scares me to hear you say, "is this too cold?" about a situation that has so many red flags. Maybe step back a bit and give yourself more time to date in real life.

I apologize if that sounds harsh, but I think you are vulnerable to predators on that site, and why make yourself vulnerable to predators?

[Float On]

My female friends have told me that the insta-wife/insta-mom thing is commonly sought after.

Kind of reminds me of when I was in college and some of us would go down to Texas to visit the seminary. Going on a date there was definitely an interview process to find the perfect preacher's wife!!!
Every date I went on there went something like....do you like children? do you play piano and sing? and the kicker....let me hear you pray.

Though I intended to go to that seminary to work on a MRE (Masters Religious Education) not a MRS....the dating questions put me off. As it would happen I ended up marrying and canceled my application.

[Tybee]

Going on a date there was definitely an interview process to find the perfect preacher's wife!!!
....let me hear you pray.

.

I would be so tempted to kick them in the b@@@s and say "let me hear you yell."

Unfortunately, I have never kicked anyone in my life and I don't think I could start now.

[jp1]

.let me hear you pray.

:

I'm sorry but I had to LOL because that sounds like a bad line out of a porno...

[JaneV2.0]

I'm sorry but I had to LOL because that sounds like a bad line out of a porno...

I keep thinking of that Madonna song...

What a nice ending to your story, Freshstart. I flirted with a few foreign students in college, but they were almost all too intense and full of flowery language for my Anglo-Saxon sensibilities.

[CathyA]

I second what Tybee said.

[freshstart]

yeah, I either need to grow a tougher skin and ignore emails from people who sound not right or get off the site. I only have very general info about me on the site and one photo. I decided I' not allowing extended email conversations without meeting for coffee first to see if the person is a good match and stable. I'm not looking for a pen pal.

[gmpg54]

That's a common thing around those sites.
I don't know if they're trolling for wives or a sympathetic person for the next part of the scam or what....
I took my profile down from all of them because of this.
POF is 1 of worst because its free.
My "best" was "Scott" who was flying to South Africa to settle his fathers business affairs and suddenly needed a 50.00 ITunes card sent to him? Don't think so buddy!
I think they're all catfishers.