Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: having a voice

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    4,234

    having a voice

    In all of the political crap that is going on I have had a few moments of just anger. I was talking to a parent, a dear lady I talk to a lot, yesterday. She is a black educator also but does not want to teach while her youngest is so young and because of how she has been treated. I have seen it myself, my district is now all about equity but they can't win back all the teachers they burned out. One thing that came up was that I could have a voice in the white community for these issues that are becoming more well known. And I realized that I don't have much of a voice. I think I am kind of a joke to people. It is funny to laugh at how I got a degree in western humanities with a minor in philosophy. Heck I laugh at it first so I beat people to it. The food I have eaten over the years, the times I was vegetarian for long periods, the reusable bags, the lots of meditation, the funny things I seem to do. And I am generally not bothered, being a person who does not care what others think. But being a joke is not having an effective voice either.

    My family jokes and teases a lot, they do not like real emotions very much. So they joke and tease about everything but themselves. I have been the brunt of it for a very long time, either the black sheep they were mad at or eventually when they became 'nicer' it became a joke. I snapped at my mom when they came out at the holidays however. I was telling her about a conversation I had with my brother which included how his Iowa friends do not like spicy food (he made yummy cookies with a touch of cayenne). She got mad and told me to stop picking on Iowa, to which I replied they have been picking on my food for 30 years, including at dinner the night before.

    I don't know, anyone else have a family that teases and jokes but you know it isn't as nice as they try to make it?

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    285
    Zoe Girl, I feel for you. I have one cousin like that who I see less and less -- to me this kind of "humour" doesn't feel funny, it feels like social control and defense of the status quo.

  3. #3
    Senior Member leslieann's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Atlantic Canada
    Posts
    971
    Jokes about people are rarely nice. I particularly dislike those edgy criticism thinly disguised as "humor" and being told "you have no sense of humor." Well, no, I probably don't if you are jabbing at me or somebody else.

    You can have a voice though, regardless of your family. While the current political situation does make me feel tense, it has also sent me to do something I have never done before: regular contact with my Congressional delegation. Regular. I subscribed to Google alerts for each of them, and keep up to date at least a little. So I am "having a voice" even though it is through email and voicemail and nobody much is probably hearing it.

    In your position, there are probably opportunities to claim your support for a diverse workforce, for example, or to acknowledge the struggles of minority families in your program, or to celebrate the cultural diversity of your families (which I think you are already doing, if I remember correctly). These are actions that represent your voice. You don't have to stick out your neck to be chopped off to be using your voice effectively (I think, anyway....)

    Notice too how many of your "weird" ways....cloth bags, meditation, vegetarianism....stuff that might have been "far out" is pretty mainstream. At least everyone has heard of those things by now.

    best to you, Zoe Girl. I think of the good you are doing in your community with your humanities and philosophy...and education degrees. An educated populace is pretty darn useful.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    6,184
    Notice too how many of your "weird" ways....cloth bags, meditation, vegetarianism....stuff that might have been "far out" is pretty mainstream. At least everyone has heard of those things by now.
    it's completely mainstream and has been for a couple of decades by this point at least around these parts (the cloth bags were a little behind the rest and only really took off when they started charging for bags). This doesn't of course mean most people are vegetarians etc.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    4,234
    Yes a lot of this is mainstream when I am in Boulder. People have heard of them but my family still jokes and teases about it. I think even a year or 2 ago my mom was still driving out from Iowa with ham so my kids would not be 'deprived' (her words). I would make my own dinners with extra roasted veggies and quinoa because my kids eat that too. We have been just low meat for many years, and my son buys his own that is free range or raised without cages whenever he can afford it.

    I called out my brother many years ago about the g-d short jokes. I am almost 5'3" and he is 6'2". It just isn't funny after a couple decades, and of course my family doesn't do conflict so they just sit there. In high school I was asked for a b-j daily, had my bra snapped, all the time. So I wore black and shaved my head and told everyone I was a lesbian. Doesn't work btw, my brother stood there with the football guys and just watched. I think now I come across very tough in person, and heck I earned it.

  6. #6
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Central Jersey
    Posts
    6,624
    I think if you don't care what people think of you, and you're passionate about something, you're actually in a great position to have a voice. I don't think it's true that people don't take you seriously--we all have our quirks. Even the quirkiest among us will be heard if they speak with passion about important issues that resonate with their audience. In fact, the quirkies are probably more likely to grab attention.. and then once they have the floor, they can speak their mind. Think of all the comedians that offer profound insights. Jim Carrey is a goofball, but have you ever read his thoughts on life? He's a philosopher too!

    I don't think it matters if you look like Cyndi Lauper or Gloria Steinem as long as you speak with heart. JMHO.

    In my family, we kid each other ALL THE TIME. Occasionally the kidding has an edge of sarcasm, but we've all learned to roll with the punches. We laugh, and lob something back. It's all in good fun. We don't take ourselves too seriously
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  7. #7
    Simpleton Alan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    4,880
    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    We don't take ourselves too seriously
    There's wisdom and maturity in that.
    "Things should be made as simple as possible, but not one bit simpler." ~ Albert Einstein

  8. #8
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    7,806
    Quote Originally Posted by Alan View Post
    There's wisdom and maturity in that.
    I agree. I'm 5'4" and spent (too many) years as a vegetarian, recycled for decades, and did a lot of things that might have been construed as out of the mainstream, and have never been afraid to defend my choices. I believe for that reason, I rarely have to.

    "Rolling with the punches" and keeping a merry heart are pretty good coping strategies in the face of the frustrations of daily life. Heaven help the humorless; I don't know how they manage.

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    4,234
    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    In my family, we kid each other ALL THE TIME. Occasionally the kidding has an edge of sarcasm, but we've all learned to roll with the punches. We laugh, and lob something back. It's all in good fun. We don't take ourselves too seriously
    I do agree, I know that sometimes what I do may be funny. I just ask that they take a joke about Iowa or my parents dressing alike now and then.

    edited to say: I have given a heads up to some people close to me like one staff person that this quitting process could make me irritable for 4-6 weeks. It is worth it but I have had to ask for some support.

  10. #10
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Eastern Massachusetts
    Posts
    2,796
    I'm 5'2" and I always felt tall enough, although my DH is 6' and I used to have a male best friend (deceased) who was 6"10". Most of the people around me are taller, but they can reach things for me.
    I never found any kidding about my height over the years to be mean-spirited. I think that's the crux of the matter, whether the joking is affectionate or mean.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •