Well this day hit me hard, and I drove away from our 2 1/2 hour meeting just gripping the steering wheel and knowing that since I had the patch I make myself very sick if I smoked. What did I learn?
* I really am an introvert, it was 2 1/2 hours of a packed room, times to share quickly cut off, lots of loaded words like goals and quality and deadlines, I had one for 2 hours on Monday and it was about accepting registrations for summer and fall, lots and lots of deadlines and google drive documents and going over every detail of packets I have been doing for 6 years, also in a packed room.
* I have not been able to write my own goals or vision this year, it has all been passed onto me or discussed in the same LARGE groups, with mandated tracking forms and lesson plan forms and everything.That is very stressful
* I can see the effect of taking a bunch of people and promoting them to my level so there is one of us at each 50 sites, the large meetings, the imposed goals and structures, etc. And a lot of them do not have the education or experience level of many of us so we go over simple things multiple times and with more detail, however it would be impossible to start missing any of these meetings because there is always something I actually do need from them. I am feeling snobby
* I thrive in smaller groups, more autonomy, deeper conversations rather than sticky note feedback and time with kids.
So I got lunch, a heavier lunch than what I packed so I felt full, went back to my school and sat with the ladies in the front office to eat it which helped. I also got such a nice thing from my staff, I have someone out 2 days and so they arranged it so I do not need to cover the 6:30 am shift! I didn't even ask, but one staff knows I am quitting and that was very kind.