hardest day so far
Well this day hit me hard, and I drove away from our 2 1/2 hour meeting just gripping the steering wheel and knowing that since I had the patch I make myself very sick if I smoked. What did I learn?
* I really am an introvert, it was 2 1/2 hours of a packed room, times to share quickly cut off, lots of loaded words like goals and quality and deadlines, I had one for 2 hours on Monday and it was about accepting registrations for summer and fall, lots and lots of deadlines and google drive documents and going over every detail of packets I have been doing for 6 years, also in a packed room.
* I have not been able to write my own goals or vision this year, it has all been passed onto me or discussed in the same LARGE groups, with mandated tracking forms and lesson plan forms and everything.That is very stressful
* I can see the effect of taking a bunch of people and promoting them to my level so there is one of us at each 50 sites, the large meetings, the imposed goals and structures, etc. And a lot of them do not have the education or experience level of many of us so we go over simple things multiple times and with more detail, however it would be impossible to start missing any of these meetings because there is always something I actually do need from them. I am feeling snobby
* I thrive in smaller groups, more autonomy, deeper conversations rather than sticky note feedback and time with kids.
So I got lunch, a heavier lunch than what I packed so I felt full, went back to my school and sat with the ladies in the front office to eat it which helped. I also got such a nice thing from my staff, I have someone out 2 days and so they arranged it so I do not need to cover the 6:30 am shift! I didn't even ask, but one staff knows I am quitting and that was very kind.
Good for you for not smoking!
i find I do best in meetings like that if I sit in the back and treat it like a boring documentary I am searching for some piece of information. I do not talk. If I have a thought or a question, I write it down and address it later. No one has ever said to me " I wish you had brought that up during the meeting."
Thank you, It has taken a couple hours for it to pass.
I have my monthly check in with my supervisor tomorrow. I do not complain to her about meetings, they are needed and people do a good job putting them together. But I might mention that sometimes as an 'innie' it is really hard. I am just worried that I have been coping with the large meetings by leaving and smoking afterwards, and I need to find another way to work with it so I don't struggle forever.
I've learned make my personal work goals align with the organization's goals. Everybody is happier. I'm a little less engaged but who cares. Paycheck is the same.
I try that, sometimes works better than others. I have a note in my desk drawer that says "quality average". I have a face that has no game face, I naturally show everything. So it is hard to be in a meeting and try to disengage too much. Sometimes I get out my notebook and look engaged and like I am taking notes but I am writing something totally different. This meeting was about working with each other, and supervisors coming over and checking with us on a regular basis, and then passing around our work for feedback. Probably part of why this was stressful
Originally Posted by Tammy
good on you for not smoking after such a mind-numbing meeting. Your job sounds so stressful that personally aiming for quality average seems reasonable
Thank you all, much better the last day or so. I even had a VERY long day but for a good reason. I got there at 7 am to register people for summer camp and then stayed until 8 pm for movie night. We have a Nutcracker obsession so we watched that, ate pizza and cookies, it is a mellow night. I also had my regular meeting with my supervisor and gave feedback on that meeting. I found much of it very good but I did say that as an introvert I was really ready to go at the end of it!
Tomorrow I step down to the lowest dosage patch. I get grandbaby on Saturday so parents can go car shopping. And the day after the last patch I am doing a road trip with daughter and grandbaby to Iowa for a 5 generation photo. These are all things that will really help.