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Thread: The biggest threat facing middle-age men isnít smoking or obesity. Itís loneliness.

  1. #41
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alan View Post
    If it makes you feel better, I just had a wonderful steak as part of my relatively prosperous and seriously happy life as an older white male in semi-rural Ohio. Buying into stereotypes is a waste of time.
    I am glad you enjoy your life. I don't necessarily buy into the stereotypes. But I have known some leftists that ought to have more compassion about white men with addictions and loneliness. But they just seem to barely contain their giddiness at the end of what they see as "white male privilege."

    While I do believe there is some white privilege and some male privilege, I also think white men assume some risks too, and perhaps they negate much or all of the privilege. After all, more than 7 out of 10 suicides are white men. If that were any other demographic there'd be a massive public outcry. So that is what I meant, being a white dude ain't all steaks and Ferraris.
    ďI came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tybee View Post
    Are there folks at school you can go out and socialize with--form a study group or something?
    I have tried to get something like this together. One dude is down for it. So every other week we'll meet up for a meal at a restaurant. Good dude, means well, though he is a bit of a SJW.
    ďI came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  3. #43
    Simpleton Alan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler View Post
    I am glad you enjoy your life. I don't necessarily buy into the stereotypes. But I have known some leftists that ought to have more compassion about white men with addictions and loneliness. But they just seem to barely contain their giddiness at the end of what they see as "white male privilege."

    While I do believe there is some white privilege and some male privilege, I also think white men assume some risks too, and perhaps they negate much or all of the privilege. After all, more than 7 out of 10 suicides are white men. If that were any other demographic there'd be a massive public outcry. So that is what I meant, being a white dude ain't all steaks and Ferraris.
    You've got a pretty good grasp on the obvious for a lefty.
    "Things should be made as simple as possible, but not one bit simpler." ~ Albert Einstein

  4. #44
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    I can't relate to being lonely and middle-aged, being a young guy, but I can relate to being lonely. I've come to realize that loneliness is a state of mind and not directly defined by the amount of people around. There are many, many times when I feel solitude rather than loneliness. Those are the times when I'm content by myself. I do like many solitary activities like reading, writing and nature photography. I'm still trying to find that balance: how much social contact do I really need and want in my life? I think it's great that in the last couple of years there has been more news coverage on loneliness. It really does take some of the sting away to know how normal and how common it really is.

    My dad is 65 and about to retire later this year. I really don't know what he will do with all that free time. I think he became a lot lonelier when all of us kids had moved out of the house. He had depended on us for social contact. My uncle died recently at the age of 76, unmarried and childless. Hard to say whether it was a conscious choice on his part to live alone and not have a family. If it wasn't, then that's really sad. I'm determined to not end up like that.

  5. #45
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    I am currently reading Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse. Someone on this thread mentioned it...
    ďI came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  6. #46
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    It is a complicated issue, I was at my nun's place with a group and when I left there was a very chatty guy who was in this situation. His youngest left home, he didn't have to work a lot, and he had just gotten divorced (but it sounded like they were separated a long time). So he was trying to make male friends and really struggling. He was nice and outgoing, but was finding it still hard to just connect with other guys. He found that through meetups he could do activities but wasn't developing the deeper friendships. Certainly not the ones who check on you when you are sick, for me it was not having someone who would be there if my car broke down for a ride.

    I personally do not have any giddiness over white males having a rougher time with life, however I am baffled as to what to say or do. There is definitely a sense of not saying much because traditionally those are the people telling me how to live life, not the ones listening or having balanced discussions. I am struggling with how to say this because of course everyone is so different, but I have craved more male friendships my whole life and some of the difficulties are probably similar to why they are more lonely. I start to make friends and the 'fix it' thing is a huge barrier, telling me how to fix everything when I just wanted to share or talk. I had the best time as a teen/young adult with the punks. The worst was after my divorce when I wanted male friends and everyone thought I just wanted to sleep with them. I do love it when our meditation group is me and all men, I can be more direct with them however I also give up a little emotional closeness. There is one guy who talks about loneliness and how that leads him to bad choices. Sometimes he has had an ankle monitor but he does not tell us what he has done. So I have his phone number and need to take him to coffee, I won't go to his place because he is a smoker and I am doing good.

    I think that more cross gender friendships may be the way to go. Women have different style of friendship that could be very valuable for men to learn.

  7. #47
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    On Saturday at work I noticed that in our building we had 6 male nurses and 8 female nurses. I love how the changing face of nursing to include men is bringing balance to our profession. Diversity in any form strengthens us.

  8. #48
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tammy View Post
    On Saturday at work I noticed that in our building we had 6 male nurses and 8 female nurses. I love how the changing face of nursing to include men is bringing balance to our profession. Diversity in any form strengthens us.
    Were they white males?
    ďI came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  9. #49
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    1 Black 2 hispanic and the rest white if I remember correctly

  10. #50
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    I work with nurses from all over the world. Every continent except Antarctica

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