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Thread: Offer on BIL's house!

  1. #11
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    I love that short closing. Maybe DH can suggest that BIL move out May 1, getting his new apartment lined up before then.

  2. #12
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Oh, well. That honeymoon period is over. The offer still stands and it is moving into Attorney Review. We got a very good offer--they came very close to meeting the price we hoped for, and they want to close fast.

    So what's the problem? The two owners: DH and BIL. Our agent came over last night to have us sign the contract, and all of a sudden it seemed like this offer was the worst thing in the world--both DH and BIL had the oddest reactions to so many things.

    1) DH is reading every single word in the contract and picking apart things that aren't even relevant. "Like why are the laws in NJ written this way? They're stupid!" In NJ the attorneys have 3 days to act on a signed contract, and they routinely reject the contract at hand so that they can work out the details. DH couldn't wrap his mind around that. Our agent had the patience of a saint as she tried to explain that it was OK for him to sign the contract because that would open the door for the discussion with the attorney.

    2) DH was hell-bent on NO negotiation. The washer and dryer was in the contract as being part of the purchase. He wouldn't have it. He feels we should withhold the W/D and use it as a negotiation lever in case something comes up in the inspection report. Like, will the buyers REALLY give up on a request that we upgrade aluminum wiring if we offer them a 20 year old washer/dryer??

    3) Our agent was trying to give a heads up as to what MIGHT come up in the inspection, and in her estimated closing cost she high-balled a $3000 amount to cover a couple of possible things that might be brought up. It was WORST CASE SCENARIO FIGURE. But both DH and BIL went nuts. BIL went on a rampage saying BUT WHAT IF I DON'T HAVE 3000?? I reminded him that he and Jim are getting a check for $337,000. He should be able to cover it with that.

    Later DH told me that BIL doesn't want to talk to me about money anymore because "I don't understand." He's right--I really don't understand how clueless he can be, and how paranoid and anxious about this very easy and fruitful sale. HE'S the one that wants to move fast! What does he expect? That the buyers are going to rip him off and steal his inheritance? I don't get it.

    DH feels that because the house sold quickly, maybe there are better fish in the sea. This is exactly the thinking that got us in HUGE financial trouble when we tried to sell his mother's house at the cusp of the housing crisis.

    Now it was midnight and you could see our agent was clearly flummoxed and she told both of them. She said, "I thought we were going to be celebrating tonight. Help me understand why you're so upset."

    I think emotions are playing a huge part. This is a big transition for BIL, and it's the last remaining asset of their mothers they have. They are driven by fear of "getting screwed", but that fear is so irrational. Unfortunately you can't reason with irrational fears. So I just have to let it take its course.

    such a bummer. We are so lucky to be getting that price for this house in this neighborhood, and they are like the fox and grapes, ready to drop those grapes right into the water chasing their illusions that a buyer is going to just plop $400,000 in their lap.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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  3. #13
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    I wish I could stomp in there and knock their heads together for you.

  4. #14
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    You are right on point about the emotions. Rationality goes out the window. Sorry you have to deal with this.

  5. #15
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    In my opinion, the thing you have which is a nicely presented new-on-the-market house with an offer close to your asking price is the best deal you will likely get. Do not under estimate the power of this house being new on the market, it is a huge selling point.


    As housing stock on the market ages, it becomes used goods. Real estate agents think there something wrong with it and the new items on the market are more attractive and become the properties most shown.

    take the damn offer.

  6. #16
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    I wish I could stomp in there and knock their heads together for you.
    Me too. Good God.

  7. #17
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Catherine, it is your DH that needs to look at this more rationally. BIL won't have a leg to stand on if DH gets it together.
    You put yourself in huge debt to help his mother. Now it is their turn to get you out of it. It really is as simple as that. It is your, you and your DH's, future that is at stake. Give him some reality scenarios that we have shared with you to help him understand your deep concern and your reasons. Walk away and get your emotions under control, if you can which will be so difficult as I fully understand. Then came back to your DH. BIL not wanting to talk to you about money is one more of his manipulative attempts to control your DH, IMHO.
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by razz View Post
    Catherine, it is your DH that needs to look at this more rationally. BIL won't have a leg to stand on if DH gets it together.
    You put yourself in huge debt to help his mother. Now it is their turn to get you out of it. It really is as simple as that. It is your, you and your DH's, future that is at stake. Give him some reality scenarios that we have shared with you to help him understand your deep concern and your reasons. Walk away and get your emotions under control, if you can which will be so difficult as I fully understand. Then came back to your DH. BIL not wanting to talk to you about money is one more of his manipulative attempts to control your DH, IMHO.
    What razz said.

  9. #19
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    I wish I could stomp in there and knock their heads together for you.
    I have tons of frequent flier miles I could give you--and I'll throw in a hotel room in New York.



    Thanks for the support, all. I guess it's weird, because BIL was so thrilled and anxious to seal this deal, and what happened?? As for DH, he's suspicious of the buyers (they're both lawyers); he's suspicious of the fact that the buying and listing agents are out of the same real estate office (they're colluding to just get the house off the market and collect the money) and he's suspicious of the attorney (she won't look out for his best interest bc our real estate agent recommended her). It's all SO bizarre.

    Razz, thanks for the advice; IL, I'm going to use the "new on the market shine" thing.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  10. #20
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Is it too late to bury St. Joseph?

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