This is about my struggle and lack of support system, but also how I mess it up I think. So I quit smoking! Yeah, and part of it was because I noticed I was feeling more depressed with smoking so I was expecting more relief from that. I was very private about this, I knew from previous experience that having a lot of people knowing added more pressure that didn't work out as well as being rather quiet. So I let a few people know in various places like work so I had someone to go to when I felt headachy or grumpy.
Now I am still struggling, the smoking was helping me deal with a lot of emotions and now I am super sensitive and actually need a support system more. I need to have the difficult conversations, and consider that they may not go over well. One is a friend who went from divorcing to a new guy in about 20 minutes. We lead a meditation group together and the other leaders show up for their weeks and nothing else right now. We had been talking about making the group a little better, and her last talk was not planned or great. Meanwhile she cannot keep up with things we have planned because she has added major yoga teacher training. The last phone call I had with her I didn't get to ask the important question because she had to go so fast. I am totally unmotivated to write one of our newsletters because the other facilitators don't respond to it. I don't want to do my usual and just check out, we have worked together in groups for awhile that go deeply into communication so I think I can try for a difficult conversation.
Others, I just need to accept and move on, start over with new people, etc. My sister is really trying. She is dealing with extreme anxiety so I go to see her a lot and she came down and met me halfway last weekend. A person at work I told directly that she has told me she is having a hard time and that is why I have reached out to meet for coffee many, many times. However it is up to her. And my assistant I really liked just quit. So I am sad and that means working by myself for 6 hours a day until we have program, which I know I have a hard time with.