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Thread: support system

  1. #1
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    Jan 2011
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    support system

    This is about my struggle and lack of support system, but also how I mess it up I think. So I quit smoking! Yeah, and part of it was because I noticed I was feeling more depressed with smoking so I was expecting more relief from that. I was very private about this, I knew from previous experience that having a lot of people knowing added more pressure that didn't work out as well as being rather quiet. So I let a few people know in various places like work so I had someone to go to when I felt headachy or grumpy.

    Now I am still struggling, the smoking was helping me deal with a lot of emotions and now I am super sensitive and actually need a support system more. I need to have the difficult conversations, and consider that they may not go over well. One is a friend who went from divorcing to a new guy in about 20 minutes. We lead a meditation group together and the other leaders show up for their weeks and nothing else right now. We had been talking about making the group a little better, and her last talk was not planned or great. Meanwhile she cannot keep up with things we have planned because she has added major yoga teacher training. The last phone call I had with her I didn't get to ask the important question because she had to go so fast. I am totally unmotivated to write one of our newsletters because the other facilitators don't respond to it. I don't want to do my usual and just check out, we have worked together in groups for awhile that go deeply into communication so I think I can try for a difficult conversation.

    Others, I just need to accept and move on, start over with new people, etc. My sister is really trying. She is dealing with extreme anxiety so I go to see her a lot and she came down and met me halfway last weekend. A person at work I told directly that she has told me she is having a hard time and that is why I have reached out to meet for coffee many, many times. However it is up to her. And my assistant I really liked just quit. So I am sad and that means working by myself for 6 hours a day until we have program, which I know I have a hard time with.

  2. #2
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    I didn't want to read and not post, but I'm not sure how to help. I'm sorry you are sad. I'm glad things are going better with your sister. I'm not sure I understand. what the issue is with your meditation friend, but I hope you find what you need.

    I know work and meditation group have had multiple struggles for you. Is there anything around you that resonates with you that is well established and you could just take a little? Maybe a class or a club or something? A library event? Just to drop by and meet some different people.

  3. #3
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    ZG, I liked Chicken Lady's suggestion to just "take" a bit. I'm sorry you are struggling and proud of you for not smoking..even with this anxiety. It's impressive to have stopped smoking and continue to search for ways to cope and make a difference.

  4. #4
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    Aug 2016
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    I can't remember if you are a member of the Y-- something physical like swimming might be nice. I found the water aerobics class to be weirdly calming and really fun. There is a little social aspect to it, but not much. Helps me to get out of my head!

  5. #5
    Senior Member
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    Jan 2011
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    Thank you all, I think they are good ideas. I also am having a much better Monday than I was having a month ago when I had nicotine in my system. I need to pay attention to that. I did go to a crochet group on Saturday, there were 2 of us and then a few more joined us. I learned tunisian crochet and worked on my octopus.

    I was getting closer to taking a class, I did do an 8 week group on Thursday nights which was great. A 50 minute drive and I had to leave early. I am feeling some freak out level stress right now, my assistant's last day was Friday, my new hire is in fingerprint/background check limbo, and my one staff was in a serious car accident and will be out ALL week. So I am going to focus on taking a walk around the lake every day I can during the work day. We have a pool at our apartment complex, sometimes it is not working well but we do have it.

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