Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 24

Thread: liking the wrong guy?

  1. #11
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    3,794
    Quote Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler View Post
    What? Can you explain a little more?
    They feel compelled to rescue the bad guy and recover him.

    I had a teen crush 10,000 years ago on someone who was an alcoholic at age 16 and I thought that he was worth rescuing. I did try a little as he was a lovely human being when sober but so messed up. Daddy had so much money and so much influence in the community. Never completely understood the dynamics in that family. Don't know that alcoholism was fully recognized then.

    Fortunately, I never got any further opportunity and I heard that he never got his act together. Really sad thinking about the waste of that individual.
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

  2. #12
    Senior Member UltraliteAngler's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Columbus, OH
    Posts
    6,437
    A friend told me a long, long time ago: "Just pretend very convincingly to be a 'bad boy' and you'll get plenty of chicks."

    I did this and it actually worked like a charm. But I stopped doing this at a certain point (maybe around age 30) because I was tired of pretending to be someone I wasn't so often.

    But it does work like a cattle call.
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  3. #13
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    718
    Zoe, if you are getting a weird feeling about it, that you are "liking the wrong guy" then do you think that might be a warning flag sent up by your unconscious? I think sometimes we have intuitions about people and situations.

  4. #14
    Senior Member UltraliteAngler's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Columbus, OH
    Posts
    6,437
    Dating in our modern era means innumerable red flags.
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  5. #15
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    10,035
    Quote Originally Posted by UltraliteAngler View Post
    A friend told me a long, long time ago: "Just pretend very convincingly to be a 'bad boy' and you'll get plenty of chicks."

    I did this and it actually worked like a charm. But I stopped doing this at a certain point (maybe around age 30) because I was tired of pretending to be someone I wasn't so often.

    But it does work like a cattle call.
    I don't know that the bad boys are still attractive to us after about age 30 anyway.

    Doesn't that bad boy act just backfire? After the have "fixed you" and you just turn out to be a schlub who goes to his job each day, pays his bills, eats his broccoli, you get b-o-r-I-n-g.

  6. #16
    Senior Member UltraliteAngler's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Columbus, OH
    Posts
    6,437
    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    I don't know that the bad boys are still attractive to us after about age 30 anyway.

    Doesn't that bad boy act just backfire? After the have "fixed you" and you just turn out to be a schlub who goes to his job each day, pays his bills, eats his broccoli, you get b-o-r-I-n-g.
    Why are bad boys not attractive after age 30?

    And yes, as a workin' schlub who pays bills and eat broccoli I can assure you I am boring.
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  7. #17
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    1,955
    UA, I think the badboy thing would definitely work in your favor at your age - as long as you don't find somebody who's trying to rescue you, you'll scare off the ones who want fatherhood material or providers and interest the ones who are more willing to try anything once - like your extreme challenge hobbies. (And they aren't attractive after 30 because they are a poor gamble financially and as dads.)

    back to the original post, go for coffee, gets know him, see how you feel, don't compromise your hard limits. Maybe you learn something that's a deal breaker, get over your crush, and friend zone him - you said you wanted friends. Maybe he does too. Some of the guys I would never gave dated (and/or would have never dated me) became some of the best friends I ever had.

  8. #18
    Senior Member UltraliteAngler's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Columbus, OH
    Posts
    6,437
    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    UA, I think the badboy thing would definitely work in your favor at your age - as long as you don't find somebody who's trying to rescue you, you'll scare off the ones who want fatherhood material or providers and interest the ones who are more willing to try anything once - like your extreme challenge hobbies. (And they aren't attractive after 30 because they are a poor gamble financially and as dads.)
    Interesting advice.
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  9. #19
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    4,097
    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    back to the original post, go for coffee, gets know him, see how you feel, don't compromise your hard limits. Maybe you learn something that's a deal breaker, get over your crush, and friend zone him - you said you wanted friends. Maybe he does too. Some of the guys I would never gave dated (and/or would have never dated me) became some of the best friends I ever had.
    I like that plan, not overthinking it. I think there are issues stemming from addictions. The majority of our meditation group is in some stage of recovery honestly. He has shown a nice long time of stability. I don't like him because of the bad boy thing, mostly I just really like talking to him. The reason I wonder if it is a bad idea is mostly what other people would think. I didn't really see myself as someone who cared about that but I guess I am a little.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Simplemind's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    635
    After 30 they have perfected their craft.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •