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Thread: Hoarding-sensitive people please weigh in

  1. #21
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    I honestly would have been very upset, but would want to appreciate that he did the part I needed done. My ex did some weird ones like that, most were annoying and really confusing, One was also really hurtful. I had a poster of the mountains were we used to live, it wasn't the greatest but we didn't have great art on the walls at that point. A realtor came over to talk to us at our rental about buying a house and made a comment about the picture (not negative) and my ex took it off the wall and threw it in the trash. So he had to get me a new, nicely framed, picture of the mountains to replace it. It still never made sense to me, he said he was getting rid of it because it wasn't a nice poster.

  2. #22
    Senior Member CathyA's Avatar
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    I would have been really P.O'd. I mean why couldn't he think through the stuff in the car, instead of taking the short-cut and throwing new/decent things out? Makes no sense to me. And you shouldn't feel bad for being upset with him.
    I mean seriously.......why would he throw obviously new things out, or your boots??
    Catherine........you deserve better.

  3. #23
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    I am reading the posts which are getting increasingly emotional and want to caution each of you to get some balance. DH passed away 4 years ago and you know, something like this incident would not have been a memorable incident that I would ever recall. Give the guy some space for being a twit at times. We all have those times.
    As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”

  4. #24
    Senior Member CathyA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by razz View Post
    I am reading the posts which are getting increasingly emotional and want to caution each of you to get some balance. DH passed away 4 years ago and you know, something like this incident would not have been a memorable incident that I would ever recall. Give the guy some space for being a twit at times. We all have those times.
    But they do add up, razz, and it's easier to forgive them after they're gone.

  5. #25
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    Not ok to throw away other people's things. Yea it's only stuff, but if that's so may as well leave one's door wide open and post an ad on Craiglist with the address and: "free stuff in house, take whatever you want".

    I'd settle for a sincere "I'm sorry, I won't do it again".
    Trees don't grow on money

  6. #26
    Senior Member CathyA's Avatar
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    catherine, wanted to add that what would tick me off the most was that new box of girl scout cookies. (Just kidding....but wanted to add a little levity.)

  7. #27
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    I think Gardnr has the right perspective, but I don't think I could avoid being angry. I could certainly forgive and move on though. I love DH more than even my most favorite boots!

  8. #28
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by razz View Post
    I am reading the posts which are getting increasingly emotional and want to caution each of you to get some balance. DH passed away 4 years ago and you know, something like this incident would not have been a memorable incident that I would ever recall. Give the guy some space for being a twit at times. We all have those times.
    Thanks, razz, for putting it in perspective. My initial post was a kind of a knee-jerk reaction, and I appreciate all of the thoughts, opinions, and support I received here. I'm past it (even though I just realized that he also threw out a brand new Country Living magazine which I hadn't even read yet. I never buy magazines because they are not worth the $5 typically, but I felt like a splurge after all my work.)

    Anyway, it WAS nice to get in a nice clean well-serviced car for the driving I did this week. I do get concerned about DH's emotional health, so it was a red flag for me as well as for him.

    Case closed.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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  9. #29
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    what is missing often when we share these stories is the emotional tone really. Was DH super excited he did something you wanted (just a little clueless about the items)? Was it a big positive for him to get up and do this? Or is there a judgmental tone or something negative going on from him about what was in your car. Really big difference,and sometimes we just have a right to be upset without thinking through all of it. I got the feeling you were just sharing and chatting rather than making it into a relationship breaking drama,

    Razz I am sorry that you lost your husband. I know that some things seem silly now. I was visiting my parents recently and my dad brought out a square of toilet paper to show us that my mom is abusing him with single ply. It was really joking around but it is hard sometimes for me and to see what people complain about in relationships. Having been in a relationship with a narcissist I can't understand the TP roll issue, or toothpaste in the sink or toilet seats up or down. There were things I got bothered by or was confused by, but I knew i couldn't stay when I realized I was more scared of growing old with him than him dying.

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