To get it out of my system before the kids come over.
my dd is supposed to spend the Christian holidays with her new mother in law.
but the kids will be coming here for dinner because "P...'s mom cancelled Easter last night and he needs cheering up."
This is is the mom who left the wedding before the cake was cut.
The primary source of the problem is her relationship with her new husband - the man she was having an affair with while P's dad was struggling with depression (ok, maybe she couldn't fix him and was miserable and one can't fault her for wanting to be happy - but the kids were out of the house and far away and she never once mentioned to them that she had any concerns about their dad, said anything to their clergy person, or as far as they know encouraged him to seek any medical help.).
She told him she wanted a divorce. And he killed himself. And her response was to actually tell people that that simplified things and left her in a much better financial position. She has never expressed any regret over his death, even to say that she was sorry he couldn't move on with his life, or sorry that her children lost their father.
then she married her lover. And handed all the decisions over to him. He painted the walls of P's childhood bedroom with no warning or opportunity for anyone to photograph the murals P had painted on the walls. He began sorting through P's dad's possessions, deciding what to keep, sell, or throw out, which was stopped by P, his sister, the uncles, my dd, and a u-haul truck. (P's mom said "oh, I don't care. Take anything you want. Except the tools. I think we need the tools." P's dad made beautiful furniture. P makes furniture, the new husband doesn't even do minor household repairs. But ok, no will. No tools.)
the new (unemployed) husband burned through all of the savings from P's parents marriage and decided they should sell the house and invest in a Land lease house he could get a great deal on from this guy he knows who bought it in forclosure. So they did that. Six months ago. The house needs a lot of work, but new husband was going to fix it up. So far, (based on Dd's observations from a short visit in March) he has fixed nothing.
The new husband insisted on walking down the aisle clinging to the opposite side of his wife (actually, slightly in front, pulling) when P seated his mom for the wedding. She has refused to see her children without her husband present except for a bridal shower for dd - her daughter was there and she came late, left early, and spoke only to me and dd.
She was very pleasant. Vague, distant, but pleasant. She said many many nice things about my daughter and virtually nothing about her son. When I said nice things about her son, she reacted as if I was telling her about some guy I met on the bus.
I love her son. He is so easy to love! And she is pushing him out of her life because he "can't accept her new husband (dd says he has never been anything but distantly polite. Even the day when all his uncles came and helped move stuff out of the house, she said he just shut down and nodded or shook his head when people asked him questions.) and disagrees with their choices." "Mom, I don't think that's a good idea. Do you know how a land lease works?"
Easter was cancelled because when she told them she is getting donkeys, they weren't excited.
Reply With Quote
