Parents please read! and do

[Zoe Girl]

I am trying to be less hand holding of parents this year, and it is hard but I have in some areas. We have a girls on the run team. I spent so much effort to get people to sign up their girls on-line like they had to for the 5K. Meanwhile my programs are fairly open so I have not turned any girls away. Now we are a month away from the 5K and 2 girls are not on the list. I know that the coach has talked to the 2 families and she feels super bad, I also feel bad but I recall how many times I reached out, handed out the paper with the registration address, even made calls to one family. The deadline was a long time ago and there isn't much we can do. I think next time I shouldn't let girls practice until they are completely registered, it is one of those nice things that backfires in the end.

We are also registering for next year, very competitive for our after school program. There is one family that has the state childcare assistance program and it has not been paying the bill. They also are missing an immunization. There is no way to register without everything being perfect. It will just get sent back if I accept it incomplete or with a bill pending. I have been talking to them it seems like forever, they keep telling me they are getting things taken care of. When I get the list of bills or missing immunizations I start talking to people, I started 2 months ago with the immunizations. I know that other PS's just told families last week they were missing an immunization and the deadline is Friday. If they are a current family and get everything in they will have a spot for next year, otherwise they risk being on a waitlist.

[Ultralight]

The parents, it seems, have outsourced the parenting of their kids to you.

[Zoe Girl]

I think that more than expecting me to take care of things (which is my job of course) what bugs me is that I could see this coming! For months ahead. And like a slow trainwreck there wasn't anything I could do.

[Chicken lady]

Let them practice. Better they should run in practice and enjoy being part of the team and miss the race than run not at all. If someone sprained her ankle before the race, would the practice have been a waste of time?

i have a cool firing activity I want to do with my students. Every year I get permission from the director, the landlord, and the fire dept. I volunteer to drive in and give up my day off to do this. then I send home letters to over 30 families explaining that we can do this but only if I get 9 hours of parent volunteer time on one of these two days. Otherwise, I will just fire the pots myself at my home and return them to the kids. And every year the same parent offers me three hours. So far this year, I've been offered one additional hour by a new parent!

I'll be bringing the pots home. (The kids are interested. They beg to come to my house and help - the parents are just too busy or focused elsewhere.)

interestingly, I have a new activity this year where the kids have a chance to earn some pocket money with no effort by the parents. The permission slip return on that has been very good. Both notes went home stapled together.

[ToomuchStuff]

Your writing a letter to parents that aren't here, and will not see this? Maybe it should be labeled a vent thread.

I certainly can't tell from this post, if the parents are idiots, lazy, disorganized and don't have the skill sets to change, or if they have other things going on like family illness, a trip planned for the same time, or since you deal with a lot of children in poverty, can't afford a computer and internet connection. (and would need something like Project Reglue)

People make choices all the time, we as other individuals don't agree with. It is their right and they know there will be consequences for their actions as well as lack of actions.

[Tybee]

I work with adult students, and I have to lay out the deadlines and then follow them. I try not to get emotionally involved in their outcomes; if they choose to self-sabotage, then that is their choice. I have to follow a boundary of not overfunctioning for others, and not becoming angry when they choose to do things that I don't understand. It can be very challenging, LOL. But it's one of those let go and let God things for me.

[Zoe Girl]

Yup it really is a vent thread, I can't do anything about it. I like reminding myself to not get emotionally involved in the outcomes, especially when I know my communication efforts are on the high side overall. I can't blame anyone who does not do this much effort however. And Chicken that sounds like so much fun. I totally understand the situation however, sigh. I am glad I am still letting the girls run in the end. Maybe next year the parents will do the registration!!

I am also trying, yet again, to help my daughter with something. I don;t have a complete account number or anything so I can't do this. Argh, I have enough trying to keep my adult self in order! Even when you get these things done it is not easy.

[Teacher Terry]

I spent my career in human services and we have a saying that if you are working harder then the client you need to stop. Of course the parents bad decisions are effecting their kids which is really sad. Now that I am teaching college I get students not following through on things and then begging later to turn things in late, etc. I evaluate on a case by case basis and have to remind myself not to enable.

[Tybee]

[QUOTE=Zoe Girl;267971]I like reminding myself to not get emotionally involved in the outcomes[QUOTE]

That's it exactly--I am trying not to get emotionally involve din the outcomes, but I have one right this second with a student in the class with 5 days left in the semester and she has been failing all semester and now she wants me to raise her grade. "I can't afford to fail this class"-- yet that is exactly what she has been doing, and she did it to herself. Why do I get so wound up--I end up feeling she is trying to pin it on me. Agh. I SO empathize!!

[Teacher Terry]

Tybee, students often want me to give extra credit for doing something extra and I always say no. They should have just done the work that was offered in the class. I definitely feel that extra credit does not belong in college. I mostly get good evaluations from the students unless one is mad at me for the grade they earned. It is usually only 2 students out of 39 so I don't worry about it.