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Thread: Wishing I could figure out the friend thing

  1. #21
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    So if you want the person to come to you it has to be someone that lives close or it won't happen. You are putting so many boundaries on this that I don't see how it will work. Are you willing to go to their house too? I think you find people exhausting because you have a unique personality so someone has to be the right fit. I have a hard time understandng that it is hard to make good friends as I have lived in 5 states and never had an issue. However, it takes work to make that happen.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    I want to know people who can come by on short (or maybe a week) notice for a few hours to either do a specific activity (pick berries, make jam or cheese, swim) or bring their own entertainment (you work on your project, I'll work on my project, we'll talk, you can borrow my toys to work on your project) and then leave.
    This why I like to do volunteer stuff and meetups. That expanded to some friendships and activities outside of that around a particular event I do weekly (and we do usually hit up a bar afterwards). Enough so that email was getting too complicated to announce or organize events so we set up an email group.

    The thing is, though it sometimes can be tiring, it's something that has to be worked at. Very true it's "building relationships".

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    So if you want the person to come to you it has to be someone that lives close or it won't happen. You are putting so many boundaries on this that I don't see how it will work. Are you willing to go to their house too? I think you find people exhausting because you have a unique personality so someone has to be the right fit. I have a hard time understandng that it is hard to make good friends as I have lived in 5 states and never had an issue. However, it takes work to make that happen.
    By sentence:

    Yes. Or someone who is interested enough in the farm thing to make a slightly longer drive.

    Maybe that's why I don't have friends. Maybe it won't work.

    maybe. Depends on where their house is and how interesting to me it is.

    Probably.

    See your previous sentence.

    And, what do you mean by "takes work"? If you mean "you have to do a bunch of stuff you don't want to do/act like somebody you aren't" I have enough of that. I can "socialize" with other humans under those conditions any time I want. Change that - any time I have to, I don't ever actually want to. I can be charming. I go to events with dh for work or with his work people and then wives like me and then we have to get together as couples, or dh encourages me to pursue the "friendship": "she likes you." - no, she likes my wife act. Then I get worn out by the social obligations and convince him to fade back to just guy stuff or she actually gets to know me and quietly fades away and I am happy to let her.

    The whole point is that I would like a couple of actual friends who don't require that. 2 would be plenty as long as they were each available around a dozen times a year.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    I want to know people who can come by on short (or maybe a week) notice for a few hours to either do a specific activity (pick berries, make jam or cheese, swim) or bring their own entertainment (you work on your project, I'll work on my project, we'll talk, you can borrow my toys to work on your project) and then leave.
    I would be your friend, that sounds perfect to me. I could bring my crochet or celtic knot work I am drawing. I would even love to pick berries. Then I would have a point where I needed to go, and for you to not take it personally that I did not move in or call you daily, and that would be great.

    I don't think you are the person who lives in Colorado however, there is someone not really close to me but in the state I think.

  5. #25
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    I want to know people who can come by on short (or maybe a week) notice for a few hours to either do a specific activity (pick berries, make jam or cheese, swim) or bring their own entertainment (you work on your project, I'll work on my project, we'll talk, you can borrow my toys to work on your project) and then leave.
    it sounds good to me, I also like to take long walks (really I do).

    I totally like the sedate stuff, but introverts and their quiet (boring to most people) past-times are not typical for sure.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  6. #26
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    No, I live in Ohio. But yes Zoe Girl, I think you would be a good friend.

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