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Thread: what loneliness makes you do

  1. #11
    Senior Member KayLR's Avatar
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    Meetup groups are pretty successful, seems like. Meetup.com

    There are all kinds of groups to join, book groups, board games, special interests, hobbies, etc.

    I did a story on groups who meet regularly to play board games. Many of them were new to the area and made friends through meetup. A couple of the guys were surprising in their candor, saying they could play online games with other people, but it wasn't the same as face-to-face where you get to know the other guy, ask them about their lives, etc.
    My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already!

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by KayLR View Post
    Meetup groups are pretty successful, seems like. Meetup.com

    There are all kinds of groups to join, book groups, board games, special interests, hobbies, etc.

    I did a story on groups who meet regularly to play board games. Many of them were new to the area and made friends through meetup. A couple of the guys were surprising in their candor, saying they could play online games with other people, but it wasn't the same as face-to-face where you get to know the other guy, ask them about their lives, etc.
    Volunteering as well - much of my social life is connected to people I've met via volunteering - and volunteering itself.

  3. #13
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by creaker View Post
    Volunteering as well - much of my social life is connected to people I've met via volunteering - and volunteering itself.
    Agreed, thats how we built social relationships when we moved here. We still connect through volunteer work based on plants and gardening.

    Zoe Girl does carry a meditation group leadership, so it isnt as though she isnt doing anything along those lines.

  4. #14
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    I had this great response, and it is gone! New info is that 2 people recently have done a reach out, one sent me photos of me working with her daughter and the other responded to an email on a mutual interest and said we should meet for coffee. She actually meets up with people. And the big goof I made doesn't seem as bad with some perspective. The one person in the drama who is causing all the grief is at the point of creating total fantasy and I hope that will come back to where it belongs.

    The meditation community is great, and I could expand quite a bit. I have had some really good connections there. We just don't tend to keep up outside of our meetings. Out of our 4 group leaders I am the only one able to come when I don't lead. I am working on bringing in one person to replace a person who moved as soon as he is back from Europe. Then we will have monthly meetings as a way to bring him into the facilitation we are doing. This weekend has lots of Buddhisty things to do, I do better with at least one activity every weekend.

  5. #15
    Senior Member lhamo's Avatar
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    Look into CoDA, I think given your past relationship issues you might find it a good fit.
    "Seek out habits that help you overcome fear or inertia. Destroy those that do the opposite." Seth Godin

  6. #16
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    Someone is starting a Refuge Recovery meeting in the Denver/Boulder area apparently. (recovery based on Buddhist principles in the tradition of Noah Levine who started Dharma Punx/Against the stream). They posted on our facebook but I don't know who they are are. So I think I would like to go to their meeting, the AA style is not my style at all.

    So I took some time to check in with a friend and then start some conversations with at least one facilitator in our group. I basically feel unsupported in running the group when we don't have a lot of people showing up, especially facilitators. And I resisted the urge to have 5 action steps all organized, I just shared how I was feeling without judgement for my friend or myself. She said she had been thinking she and her boyfriend needed to come more. That is good, we will see what happens. Then I led a Sunday morning interactive inquiry phone call (a buddhist phone meeting where I led and did a talk and then facilitated a discussion). I had 3 people, all good friends, from 2 different states! That was super exciting because it would be easy to have no one. I heard that 2 of them had a history and so I called one later to check in that it was comfortable for her, see how her first mother's day without her mother was, and we had a long talk. She is in our network but out of state so I shared the local group thing, and she actually apologized for not being the one to call ever. I wasn't asking for that but it was nice (not that she needed to apologize) but to feel like I am able to say to some people that it really is wonderful to get phone calls and I am looking for friendships that have that balance. In the conversation it came out that she has some of her own things going on, and is ready to get more involved in friendships.

  7. #17
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    Is the calling important to you?

    heart daughter's gf and I are driving her crazy. We like each other, and I am supposed to be helping the gf with their garden. And she needs help. But heart daughter is failing to facilitate this. The gf keeps saying "you need to get (chicken lady) over here to help with the garden." And I keep saying "m really needs to get the garden going." And heart daughter keeps saying you two need to call each other. And then we say "we don't do that."

  8. #18
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    Yes the calling is really important to me. So I kinda know who is not a person who calls, and I need to just develop a few friendships with people who do call since it is important to me. I also try to mention it or watch how often I call if it is a case of someone who would call but not as often as I would.

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