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Thread: Need quick advice...today!

  1. #1
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Need quick advice...today!

    .. nowhere else to go, and need advice quickly.

    I've been seeing the light at the end of the tunnel work-wise, and was planning on driving my DD back up to VT (she had work in NYC this week) and then spending 2-3 days up in VT and doing some reconnaissance for future housing opportunities. Also, my son is a featured musician at a big annual music festival and he plays tomorrow at 2:00.

    It's a nasty day here, so I'm even more committed to driving DD upstate for her own safety.

    The monkey wrench is.. My grandson is being born today!!! My DIL went to the hospital today and expects the baby to be born in a few hours.

    DH, my Vermont DD and my VT musician son are putting on the full court press for still going up to VT and "meeting" the baby early next week. My DIL is definitely the introvert type and doesn't like a lot of company. BUT what message does that send? (first of all, of COURSE I want to meet GS ASAP--this is just very bad timing).

    I feel my new dad son would be really hurt if I chose to go to VT instead of meeting his new son this weekend. OTOH, my DD needs our help, and my musician son has already told his new girlfriend she gets to meet us this weekend, plus we get to see his show.

    What would you do????
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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  2. #2
    Simpleton Alan's Avatar
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    What a predicament! I'd stay home and send your husband to VT. That baby's only going to be born once.
    "Things should be made as simple as possible, but not one bit simpler." ~ Albert Einstein

  3. #3
    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    Grandson, no question.

  4. #4
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    Ask yourself this: which event is more likely to reoccur?

  5. #5
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    Mom comes first. What would your DIL think? I've seen both situations of "why didn't they come when I'm having a baby?" and "oh god, why did they have to come right when I'm having a baby?".

  6. #6
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    So my son is very good in the honesty department, and so is DIL. They gave me a pass and said it's no big deal. Doesn't make me feel any better, given I agree that babies are only born once. But at least if I DO go, I won't feel quite as guilty. Thinking of driving DD up, seeing son's show and then flying home tomorrow night.

    If the baby isn't born yet, I know my DIL and I know she's not going to be into entertaining tonight. So that just leaves tomorrow as the Day in Question to meet GS. Tomorrow is also my MIL's birthday (she would have been 92), so I'm asking myself, what would she do, and what would I want her to do?
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  7. #7
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Good choice, IMO.

  8. #8
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Man, my wiring is way off from ya'll. Why does it matter on what day she "meets" the baby? I see this more of a conflict between her chldren, son #1 and son #2 pulling for her attention. The grandchild will have no clue abput any of it.

    But really, the first point of decision making is the pregnant mom, does she want people around or not.There is currently a thread on MMM about birth and unwelcome grandparents in the hospital.

    Anyway, good job OP.

  9. #9
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    So my son is very good in the honesty department, and so is DIL. They gave me a pass and said it's no big deal. Thinking of driving DD up, seeing son's show and then flying home tomorrow night.

    If the baby isn't born yet, I know my DIL and I know she's not going to be into entertaining tonight. So that just leaves tomorrow as the Day in Question to meet GS. Tomorrow is also my MIL's birthday (she would have been 92), so I'm asking myself, what would she do, and what would I want her to do?
    I would go with your plan. You can only stretch yourself so thin. This will happen more than once in your life so prepare to makes these types of decisions and tell the family of your struggle so that they each come away with a sense of being cherished.
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

  10. #10
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    My DAD wasn't there when I was born. It has never been an issue. every time someone has brought it up, my dad says "I was planting trees that weekend. You would wait. The trees wouldn't." I've always thought he had a good point.

    my mil waited a decent amount of time to visit when my two older kids were born. The youngest was two weeks late, so she was already there. I would have preferred more time to rest.

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