Page 11 of 15 FirstFirst ... 910111213 ... LastLast
Results 101 to 110 of 145

Thread: Clearing Out Parent's Home

  1. #101
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Vermont
    Posts
    9,421
    Quote Originally Posted by Tybee View Post

    My husband took some blue jeans and an LL Bean jacket. It makes us all feel closer to them, and that their things are going to good use.
    As I've mentioned, my mother had nothing to speak of when she died. We took all her clothes and put them in a bag for Goodwill, but I saved her emerald green reversible rain slicker, and every time I wear it (which I still do, 20 years after her death) I feel her presence.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  2. #102
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    2,708
    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    As I've mentioned, my mother had nothing to speak of when she died. We took all her clothes and put them in a bag for Goodwill, but I saved her emerald green reversible rain slicker, and every time I wear it (which I still do, 20 years after her death) I feel her presence.
    How lovely!

  3. #103
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Nevada
    Posts
    7,494
    That's cool CAtherine.

  4. #104
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    202
    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    As I've mentioned, my mother had nothing to speak of when she died. We took all her clothes and put them in a bag for Goodwill, but I saved her emerald green reversible rain slicker, and every time I wear it (which I still do, 20 years after her death) I feel her presence.
    That slicker sounds so cool, catherine!

    My grandmother had this awesome green velveteen coat with big covered buttons. I got the coat after she went into a care facility and my mom, aunt and uncle had to clean out her apartment. The coat was pretty worn in places so I didn't wear it but when she died, I made a small pillow of that velvet fabric to be placed in her vault. I put one of those big buttons in the middle of the cushion and we pinned her favorite pins on it.

  5. #105
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    5,583
    Lovely to read about these gentle memories.
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

  6. #106
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Nevada
    Posts
    7,494
    S, that’s so awesome!

  7. #107
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    202
    Bumping for update. As of today, nothing has been done with the house since last May. Though sister who is executor said she would start working on getting an estate sale going last fall, nothing has happened. Nor has there been any communication from her regarding the estate. On other things but not the estate. Youngest sister and I are done chasing her down for information.

    However, youngest sister has reached out to the attorney regarding the lack of action and communication. I learned from her a few days ago that she sent a letter but has not yet received a response. I am not sure if she will get one considering she is not his client but since she asked the attorney to reach out to executor sister on this issue, I suppose he may do that. I expect all hell to break loose if that happens. Things are very tense between the sisters, some of it is over the estate but there are other issues that have been bubbling under the surface for years and it all came out after Dad passed away.

    She has asked me to send a letter as well to backup her concerns. Not sure if I should or not. Frankly, I have been waiting for things to get to the point that sister finds it too inconvenient to hold on to the house and that will finally get things going. I don't want my sister to run into problems but I am afraid that is what it will take.

  8. #108
    Senior Member Simplemind's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    1,058
    It was very clearly stated in our trust paperwork that I had a legal responsibility to take action and get the most value for everything I was selling. If I didn't my siblings could take action against me. I took that seriously. My sister wanted to drag her feet and do the estate sale ourselves. I knew it would never ever get done. All items in the house were vulnerable while the house stood empty. Even though they weren't thrilled at paying for somebody else to do the sale I still convinced we ended up with more than had we done it ourselves. My brother would not come out to assist, my sister lasted two hours and left in tears, my DH and I lasted day and night all four days.
    We are having our trust done now and it is critical to us to choose the right child who will do the right thing. You have to do things that you don't feel like doing. You have to do things that might cause hurt feelings and questioning. I'm thankful we were able to have many family meetings before my dad's dementia fully set in and as we were caring for him before he died. So thankful the house and contents were gone by then. Can't imagine dealing with all of that while grieving.

  9. #109
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Saint Paul, Minnesota
    Posts
    5,410
    Quote Originally Posted by Simplemind View Post
    It was very clearly stated in our trust paperwork that I had a legal responsibility to take action and get the most value for everything I was selling. If I didn't my siblings could take action against me. I took that seriously. My sister wanted to drag her feet and do the estate sale ourselves.
    Just to play devil's advocate, how was the task worded? Could Sister have been dragging her feet because she felt an estate sale without the expense of a third party managing it was the way to get the highest value for everything and she just hadn't gotten around to her part in it? When you look at most of the stuff sold at estate sales, very little of it (IME) has a value that will fluctuate greatly depending on being sold a few weeks or months earlier or later.

    Never having been through this process (beyond the property agreement in my divorce, which did not require anything to be sold) I'm curious how that is specified in light of competing priorities and demands.
    Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. - Booker T. Washington

  10. #110
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    14,462
    Quote Originally Posted by saguaro View Post
    Bumping for update. As of today, nothing has been done with the house since last May. Though sister who is executor said she would start working on getting an estate sale going last fall, nothing has happened. Nor has there been any communication from her regarding the estate. On other things but not the estate. Youngest sister and I are done chasing her down for information.

    However, youngest sister has reached out to the attorney regarding the lack of action and communication. I learned from her a few days ago that she sent a letter but has not yet received a response. I am not sure if she will get one considering she is not his client but since she asked the attorney to reach out to executor sister on this issue, I suppose he may do that. I expect all hell to break loose if that happens. Things are very tense between the sisters, some of it is over the estate but there are other issues that have been bubbling under the surface for years and it all came out after Dad passed away.

    She has asked me to send a letter as well to backup her concerns. Not sure if I should or not. Frankly, I have been waiting for things to get to the point that sister finds it too inconvenient to hold on to the house and that will finally get things going. I don't want my sister to run into problems but I am afraid that is what it will take.

    How much is coming out of the estate to maintain this property? It HAS to be costing something.

    I see this over and over and over. In a neighborhood close to ours are two houses that sit across the street from each other. I wanted to buy one of them badly. I sent letters to the out-of-state owners every six months. This was about year 2003. I watched as vandals broke into the garage and set up living quarters there. I notified the out-of-state owners. They would come to town periodically, wander around, Pile a few things into their truck and take off home. Finally, one of their relatives moved into the little house I wanted and immediately started cleaning it up. She even let me in to look at it it was a great little property and I wish I could’ve bought it because it hadn’t side yard for gardening and then it had a vacant lot next to it that I could’ve purchased. Anyway I am happy that she got this property because she is good for that block, it is a block that struggles. But the house across the street is still Empty after at least 15 years. They have missed one real estate run up, and could probably sell it now for a nice amount, but there doesn’t seem to be any action.

    People are just paralyzed by the huge job of liquidating Estates. I do not know why it is so damn difficult, let me at it I can get it done!

    My father-in-law’s estate will take a while to settle. His eldest daughter is in charge and she is telling everyone that it’s not going to be settled until the year 2020 which seems reasonable to me. She has a realistic view of what the house-only is worth (practically nothing) but there is farmland that has value. Someone is at this house several times a day, so it is not looking vacant.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •