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Thread: Back after a long time away!

  1. #1
    Senior Member Sad Eyed Lady's Avatar
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    Back after a long time away!

    Hello again SL community. I have been away for a at least two years and probably longer. My join date was 2010, so I had been around for awhile before taking a break. Yesterday while being fed up with Facebook, I searched to see if you were still here, and there you were! Old friends carrying on as I remember. It was good seeing some of those familiar names.

    To catch you up on what has happened in my life, or the most impacting event, is a sad one. Two years ago on April 21st, my husband passed away. No warning whatsoever. He got up as usual that morning early to feed the cats, I heard a loud crash and by the time I ran from the bedroom to the kitchen he was unresponsive and in seconds/minutes, not breathing. When I talked to his doctor some time later he said, in his opinion, that he was "gone before he hit the floor". What a shock! We had been married since 1969, and it was always just the two of us. No children. So, to say my life took a huge change all at once is an understatement.

    We both had been followers of the simple living movement for many years, living below our means, carrying no debt etc. so for those principles I was "okay" financially. Not wealthy by any means, but our lifestyle had prepared me to adjust and work with what I had with no big jolt to my day to day living.

    Grief is such a horrible thing to live with I can't imagine doing that while worrying that I can't pay my rent, utilities, etc. on top of it.

    I know this is a rambling conversation, but I didn't want to jump in without reintroducing myself and catching you up on what has happened while I have been away. I am looking forward to being a part of the community again.
    "Like a bird on the wire, like a drunk in the midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free." Leonard Cohen

  2. #2
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Welcome back. Going through a huge change in one's life like that is huge adjustment.

    DH passed away 4 1/2 years ago and I am finally now able to feel back to being myself. The first year was proving I could survive, the second was making the needed changes, the third was finally dealing with all the emotions, the fourth year I totally lost all my confidence and now I am back to being me.
    I was blessed by having family and friends who helped me, an acquaintance to saw me at a local donut shop and spent two hours talking to me. Her DH had passed away 9 years prior and she had had little support. She had then made it her goal in life to ensure that no one would ever struggle alone as she did. I have adopted her goal as mine and a number of opportunities have present themselves.

    So my offer to you is if you ever want to think out loud about anything, please PM me and I will respond with understanding but without judgement or providing solutions as each of us needs to find our own way.

    I now have a small group of individuals who are solo for whatever reason and we get together to chat. I prepare a meal as I miss the cooking that I used to enjoy. One of the group is taking a turn this Wednesday.
    Hugs
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

  3. #3
    Moderator Float On's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by razz View Post

    DH passed away 4 1/2 years ago and I am finally now able to feel back to being myself. The first year was proving I could survive, the second was making the needed changes, the third was finally dealing with all the emotions, the fourth year I totally lost all my confidence and now I am back to being me.
    I was blessed by having family and friends who helped me, an acquaintance to saw me at a local donut shop and spent two hours talking to me. Her DH had passed away 9 years prior and she had had little support. She had then made it her goal in life to ensure that no one would ever struggle alone as she did. I have adopted her goal as mine and a number of opportunities have present themselves.
    This is an incredible statement from the timeline you experienced to your friend who made it a goal that no one struggle alone to you adopting that goal. I actually had to print it out. It's such a good reminder that everyone deals with loss in different ways and different time but encourages me to be available and listen.

    SadEL: welcome back. I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing.
    Float On: My "Happy Place" is on my little kayak in the coves of Table Rock Lake.

  4. #4
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    I am so sorry for your loss. In the past few years we have lost some friends in their 50's and 60's so it really brings home that life can be short.

  5. #5
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    So good to hear from you, Sad Eyed Lady, but so very sorry for your loss and for the pain and grief you are experiencing.

    I can't believe it's been so long since you posted regularly! Welcome back!
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  6. #6
    Senior Member
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    We remember you, Sad Eyed Lady. What a shock to lose your life-long spouse, I'm so very sorry that has happened.
    Understandable that you would be needing time to yourself before you reconnect. Looking forward to your future posts here.

  7. #7
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    Sad Eyed Lady, I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. Know you have healing thoughts being sent your way.

  8. #8
    Senior Member
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    Welcome back, and I hope things become easier to bear.

  9. #9
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    Welcome back, we have missed you! I am terribly sorry about your husband.

  10. #10
    Senior Member
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    It is really good to have you back, I remember you and like some others I always wonder what happened. I hope we can be supportive for you,. .

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