The bottom fell out (part II).

[ApatheticNoMore]

Thinking of UL's comment about fathers being necessary ...

Of course fathers are important. Kids need to be raised by both parents of whatever gender as much as possible. And they need extended family involvement as much as possible. And neighborhood connections as much as possible.

yes. but realistically a woman is almost always going to end up doing more of the raising of kids than her husband, so I don't think that single woman's experience is all that alien to a lot of married women, life is going to be harried, a bit more economic security with two parents though.

[ApatheticNoMore]

Women are getting better jobs? Excellent! I like women who are also resourceful.
Though I think an addiction to workahol is a bad rad flag.

Having and enjoying a relationship takes time and some focus. If you are at the office all the time or always on the clock, you're not going to be a good partner to me or anyone. Make sense?

yea I used to think that comes about with guys that say they are ambitious and thus they must be working hard to make it happen right? I avoided that, but ended up with someone working a lot anyway. Because I'm not sure it really works that way. And there are other ways for it to come about, shitty blue collar job (oh gawd do these suck, I'm glad to do office work in comparison!), that works one massive hours of unpaid overtime etc.. That's how it can come up without any being ambitious or choosing to chase the money, but just as often driven by survival.

[catherine]

A long time female friend actually told me this once, and perhaps it is related to the reason you think this woman's lie to me does not warrant an apology.
She said: "Jake, I bet one of the reasons you are single is that you admit when you are wrong. Women don't like that in a man. They say they do, but they actually don't. You should reconsider this practice."

Your friend probably voted for Trump.

I disagree with her. Does she see admitting a mistake as male weakness? Submission? How can an equal relationship move forward if the man is "always right"?

[Lainey]

. . . .

"Happy wife, happy life"? How about this - "Happy life partners, happy life experience"?

I've heard "Happy spouse, happy house."

[Ultralight]

She auditioned sperm donors and found one.

What does this mean?

[catherine]

What does this mean?

Well, she didn't audition them formally, but she just shopped around and found someone willing to donate with no strings attached.

[Ultralight]

This "just me and my baby" thinking among young women is the epitome of radical individualism and it's not best for anyone, including the stressed out exhausted mom.

You must be trying to pick a fight with the majority of women today.

[Ultralight]

No, you misunderstood me. My point was that you have already judged this woman and found her dishonest, and are in a position of expecting apologies from her, which means you feel she has harmed you, and you have taken on a persecuted, victim role in the relationship and have assumed moral authority over her.

This is the unhealthy dynamic I am referring to.

What the heck are you talking about? She lied and admitted to lying. When someone lies it is acceptable to consider them dishonest. How else do you determine if someone is dishonest?
Can people change their ways? Yes. Will she do so? I don't know.

I expect one apology from her. And then I expect her to build some trust as time goes onward. I am willing to forgive and move onward with her on additional dates, as long as moving onward is in the right direction.

I could make mistakes too, probably not of the lying variety though. And I would apologize, hope to be forgiven by the person, and then hopefully move onward and upward.

[Ultralight]

yes. but realistically a woman is almost always going to end up doing more of the raising of kids than her husband.

Why is this the case?

[Ultralight]

I disagree with her. Does she see admitting a mistake as male weakness? Submission?

I am not sure, what do you think?
I think most women like strong men with at least somewhat dominant and decisive personalities.