The bottom fell out (part II).

[Ultralight]

No I am not afraid of being Googled. I'm sure I was when I was job searching recently. But while you started this thread lamenting your poor romantic prospects it doesn't appear you are willing to look inwards as to why that may be. It's the women who are all flawed and not worth your money and time at dinner. Rigid thinking (I should only own 200 items - if I get to 206 I must throw 6 out), black and white thinking, and judgmentalism are probably better addressed by a professional counselor than these forums.

So many people are judgmental of judgmental people.

So you are saying you don't judge people? Come on now. Tell the truth...

What is mind-boggling here is that I say: "It is important to tell the truth about who you are when entering into dating and relationships."

Then many folks are like: "You are a judgmental jerk! How dare you judge someone for lying to you and misrepresenting themselves to you!"

It is like I am in some bizarro world.

[Alan]

Ultralight, you're a quirky guy, probably more quirky than she is aware at this point. I think you should give her another chance in order to give her a more informed perspective of exactly who you are. You made a decision about her character after catching her in a white lie, you should give her a chance to better evaluate you as well. The problem of 'to date her or not to date her' would then probably go away all by itself.

[Ultralight]

No I am not afraid of being Googled. I'm sure I was when I was job searching recently. But while you started this thread lamenting your poor romantic prospects it doesn't appear you are willing to look inwards as to why that may be. It's the women who are all flawed and not worth your money and time at dinner. Rigid thinking (I should only own 200 items - if I get to 206 I must throw 6 out), black and white thinking, and judgmentalism are probably better addressed by a professional counselor than these forums.

Listen to yourself judging me in this very post! LOL
Judging me for my minimalist lifestyle, for owning less than 200 things, for needing a professional counselor. So, so judgey! Maybe you need to do some inner work, meditate on it. Then you won't want to judge me so harshly. Maybe you could do some Loving-Kindness meditation! It could really help you.

(See what I did there? I zinged you with your own rhetoric.)

[Yppej]

But she isn't the only person you've found defective, and she wasn't so defective that you walked away. Instead you wanted to take the information you found on her and shame her with her lie.

[Ultralight]

Ultralight, you're a quirky guy, probably more quirky than she is aware at this point. I think you should give her another chance in order to give her a more informed perspective of exactly who you are. You made a decision about her character after catching her in a white lie, you should give her a chance to better evaluate you as well. The problem of 'to date her or not to date her' would then probably go away all by itself.

You zinged me, Al!

But zinginess aside, I essentially agree. As she and I both get to know each other we'll both be deciding on our own terms if we are compatible for each other and if compromises are worth it. If either of us decides to call it quits, then it is my hope we simply wish each other luck and walk away. I know that is what I would do.

[Ultralight]

But she isn't the only person you've found defective, and she wasn't so defective that you walked away. Instead you wanted to take the information you found on her and shame her with her lie.

Shame her? What the heck?

I don't want her to feel shame. I just want her to be honest about who she is.

I have no plan to make any more references to her lie when she and I are conversing. She explained to me what she did and why. I think what she did was wrong. I think she thinks what she did was wrong. I am hoping that we just move along and progress in getting to know each other.

[Yppej]

You already brought it up. You elicited an apology. But I don't imagine you apologized to her for spying on her online. So already there is a power imbalance of sorts, in your favor.

[Ultralight]

You already brought it up. You elicited an apology. But I don't imagine you apologized to her for spying on her online. So already there is a power imbalance of sorts, in your favor.

Only I know how to use Google. Right... buddy. Sure. lol

You know that considering googling someone "spying" is antiquated thinking.

You act like it takes some sleuthing to find someone's social media presence. Do you know how social media works? Do you know what "social" means?

[Yppej]

Yes I know how social media works. You send an invitation to connect and if the person accepts then you look at their pictures or profile and ooh and aah and comment if you want. It's not a gotcha game.

[Ultralight]

Yes I know how social media works. You send an invitation to connect and if the person accepts then you look at their pictures or profile and ooh and aah and comment if you want. It's not a gotcha game.

Actually much of social media is entirely public.

You can't spy on things that are public. Apparently you're not sure what "public" means either.

Again, it is interesting how you defend someone's "right" to literally lie in order to misrepresent themselves and condemn someone else's ability to discover this lie with public information and then merely ask about it.

This is bizarro world stuff, Yppej, bizzaro world.