I couldn't stop laughing because enota's comment, just made me think of bedroom speak that ends in yourself.
I think Non Violent Communication helps. (Based on the work of Marshall Rosenberg)
When the communication is working, the division of labor is based on voluntary commitments and requests. I believe people can be happier when they do more of what they want (meeting their needs), and less of what they don't want (activity that does nothing to meet their salient needs). If nobody needs sharp knives, we can give the knife-sharpening activity a rest.
A colleague of mine years ago was feeling like she did more than her fair share of household chores. Her partner thought he did more work than she did.
So she and her partner kept a log of hours spent and what was done.
It turned out they were fairly even on hours. A nice benefit of the exercise was that each learned about chores the other did each didn't notice or think about. So each gained more of an appreciation of the other.
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