Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 17 of 17

Thread: Hello from NC

  1. #11
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Location
    upstate NY
    Posts
    2,702
    Quote Originally Posted by TooSweetForMe View Post
    Freshstart, it's good to find someone else who is a caregiver. I wouldn't give it up for the world. Do you work also? I do some medical stuff online but not a lot.
    My mother was sick while I was working as a nurse. My kids were getting older and I would soon have way too much house for 1 person. so we each sold our homes and bought a handicapped accessible home together. At the time of moving in, my mother was only dependent on help with meals and meds, that sort of thing. My dad had a lot of health issues but was independent. Then I got sick and he ended up having to take care of me. I got a bit better but not enough to return to work. Over the past year both of them have declined and I admit, it is now quite a challenge. But we're managing. I miss my career very much but accept that right now I am not well enough to do it. Sometimes I feel like there was some master plan that it all worked out like this. I was perfectly healthy the I sold my three story home but had I not bought into this house, I would not have been able to stay there even one day alone when I got sick.

    I, too, would not give up caregiving. I will know that they both lived to the very best of my ability and I'll have no regrets when they are gone.

  2. #12
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Posts
    46
    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    She had the brain aneurysm in 1978 at age 50. After the operation to clip three aneurysms, she suffered a stroke. The end result of both of those brain events was that she was mentally disoriented for a year or so. She recovered from that over time, but was unable to care for herself after that. She also was paralyzed on her left side, but she regained almost full use of her left leg. Her left arm remained paralyzed for the rest of her life. She lived 20 years after the aneurysm and died at age 69 from heart disease and emphysema (she had been a lifelong smoker).

    I wish I had the opportunity to have done more caregiving for her. At the time I had 4 kids and family issues besides. I just didn't have the bandwidth to do it. I know caregiving is not easy, but I don't think you'll ever be sorry to have done it.
    Mom had her aneurysm last June, a little over a year ago. Mom's aneurysm bled out. She woke up about 5:30 that morning with the worst headache she' ever had. Got her to the ER, and they said they had to transfer her to a hospital about an hour away because the local hospital didn't have the capabilities to care for a neurological patient. She had 2 procedures the day she got to the hospital (a coil put into the blood vessel and an external shunt to drain out fluid). She was in ICU twice, 1st time for 6 days and 2nd time for 10 days. Had the shunt removed the first time 4 days after it was put in, then had to have it put back in because she started regressing. 2nd time it was put in was for 10 days. After 3 weeks in the hospital she was sent to a local rehab center that she stayed for almost 3 months. She still has short-term memory problems and she probably will for the rest of her life. She was familiar with the rehab center because she stayed there for 2 months at the end of 2015 following a hip replacement surgery. I was going to try to care for her at home after that but I saw how hard it was for the nurses and physical therapists was to get her out of bed and they recommended she go into a rehab center because I am the only other person in the house. I don't regret it because the rehab center is only a 5 minute drive from the house.

    I don't regret being my mom's caregiver AT ALL. She was a single mom to me and my sister from the time I was 7 and my sister was 12 and she worked her butt off. She let me and my oldest live with her when he was born until I got married when was a little over 2. I helped her take care of my grandmother until she died, and I moved back in with my mom when my ex and I separated in 2001 and helped her care for her best friend and roommate until she passed away in 2003. She did all this on top of working night shifts 5/6 days a week. My sister does what she can, but she lives in the OBX and is the rental manager for a major realty company there. She took me up to the hospital each week on her day off when Mom had her aneurysm and I would spend the nights at a cousin's house who also lives in Norfolk. She comes in whenever we need help with transportation or anything like that, but she can only do so much.

  3. #13
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Posts
    46
    Quote Originally Posted by freshstart View Post
    My mother was sick while I was working as a nurse. My kids were getting older and I would soon have way too much house for 1 person. so we each sold our homes and bought a handicapped accessible home together. At the time of moving in, my mother was only dependent on help with meals and meds, that sort of thing. My dad had a lot of health issues but was independent. Then I got sick and he ended up having to take care of me. I got a bit better but not enough to return to work. Over the past year both of them have declined and I admit, it is now quite a challenge. But we're managing. I miss my career very much but accept that right now I am not well enough to do it. Sometimes I feel like there was some master plan that it all worked out like this. I was perfectly healthy the I sold my three story home but had I not bought into this house, I would not have been able to stay there even one day alone when I got sick.

    I, too, would not give up caregiving. I will know that they both lived to the very best of my ability and I'll have no regrets when they are gone.
    I didn't know you were sick also. That makes things really hard on you, doesn't it. I'm diabetic and have a couple of other chronic health conditions but it doesn't stop me from doing the best I can for my Mom. My sister who lives about about an hour away does what she can, mainly during the fall and winter months but she can't stay overnight or anything because her husband is older and has some health problems also. My DD and her family live about 4 hours away and tries to come up about 1x a month but she is also living and working at a beach area so it's harder during this time of year.

  4. #14
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Location
    upstate NY
    Posts
    2,702
    My sibling is in Boston and says he'll come weekends occasionally but then always has an excuse at the last minute. I can count on him maybe 4 times a year for help. He has a job where he could work from anywhere so it's frustrating knowing he could help but chooses not to. But we carry on. One thing I am grateful for is I've gotten really close to my dad, his personality is different from when I was a kid. He's funny and much more caring than I thought growing up. My brother will never have that connection and it's his loss.

  5. #15
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Posts
    46
    Quote Originally Posted by freshstart View Post
    My sibling is in Boston and says he'll come weekends occasionally but then always has an excuse at the last minute. I can count on him maybe 4 times a year for help. He has a job where he could work from anywhere so it's frustrating knowing he could help but chooses not to. But we carry on. One thing I am grateful for is I've gotten really close to my dad, his personality is different from when I was a kid. He's funny and much more caring than I thought growing up. My brother will never have that connection and it's his loss.
    I'm sorry your brother doesn't help out more. Sometimes you don't know what you have until it's too late - hopefully your brother will realize that and start to help out more. I'm glad you and your Dad have such a close and loving relationship. My Mom and I do also.

  6. #16
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Location
    upstate NY
    Posts
    2,702
    thank you, I'm glad you are close to your mom

  7. #17
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Posts
    46
    Thank you so much, I am too. There are some times in the past that I don't know what I would have done without her.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •