I wish my parents would sit down and say to my brother and I, "look, this is what we need. What are each of you willing or able to do?" Maybe if my brother knew they needed so much help, he'd throw money at the problem, say pay for my mom's twice a week aide to shower her. I don't think he has a clue how hard it is but he's also not asking to know, either. And not responding in crisis situations. So a meeting would probably be futile.