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Thread: Sandwich generation thread

  1. #121
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    I've done some sort of home care nursing since the 90s, the driving question would drive families apart. Sometimes I would ask the doctor to please have a conversation with the patient about it but they rarely would get involved. One guy was so bad, he rove right through the front of a grocery store. It's such a hard conversation to have. Glad you got through it

  2. #122
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    This week I've been feeling the sandwich squeeze. Mom is scheduling surgery and my son is getting his heart broken, and there isn't anything I can really do to help either of them other than listen. She is more resilient than he is.

  3. #123
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    Sorry Yppej

  4. #124
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    Thanks BikingLady.

  5. #125
    Senior Member Williamsmith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    This week I've been feeling the sandwich squeeze. Mom is scheduling surgery and my son is getting his heart broken, and there isn't anything I can really do to help either of them other than listen. She is more resilient than he is.
    Listening is perhaps the best thing one can really do but the hardest.

  6. #126
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    Williamsmith, very well said and so true.

  7. #127
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    If i was your parents I would appoint you the executor, etc. That is terrible that he went behind their backs.

  8. #128
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    that is truly terrible, it must be very painful if a parent doesn't recognize you but to react that way helps no one and is selfish

  9. #129
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    Sorry you are dealing with such a difficult situation, Tybee. My Mom is getting quite forgetful and she is undergoing some testing. It is scary stuff, but at least Mom, my sister & I all think alike, have similar values and I am confident my sister and I will work together and support each other every step of the way. Mom has taken care of others all her life, and we want to do well by her now that she needs some help.
    On the other hand, my mother-in-law broke her hip about a week ago and that is going to turn into a real nightmare, I fear. She is expecting to come home this week and have DSIL care for her, and DSIL has no interest in doing intensive care-taking. However, she and her husband live with DMIL and make only a token financial contribution, so did she really think there would be no strings attached? And since DMIL has always said daughter would get the house, her 3 brothers are like, "good, then Mom is all yours, little sister." My MIL wasn't really much of a caretaker when my FIL was failing, and was unwilling to make any modifications to the house that could have kept him home longer (which would now make the house much more livable for her current circumstances if she had). My SIL broke both ankles last year, and her husband did all the caregiving; DMIL didn't help to take care of her. So her expectations for the care she should receive from her family aren't in alignment with what she has been willing to provide for them. I love all the people involved in this sorry scenario, so it's just a really sad state of affairs.

  10. #130
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    Among my social circle the scenario rosarugosa describes is much more common than the one Tybee describes. People try to avoid sending relatives to the nursing home because they don't want the house to be sold to pay the costs. They want to inherit it.

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