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Thread: Sandwich generation thread

  1. #121
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    I've done some sort of home care nursing since the 90s, the driving question would drive families apart. Sometimes I would ask the doctor to please have a conversation with the patient about it but they rarely would get involved. One guy was so bad, he rove right through the front of a grocery store. It's such a hard conversation to have. Glad you got through it

  2. #122
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    This week I've been feeling the sandwich squeeze. Mom is scheduling surgery and my son is getting his heart broken, and there isn't anything I can really do to help either of them other than listen. She is more resilient than he is.

  3. #123
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    Sorry Yppej

  4. #124
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    Thanks BikingLady.

  5. #125
    Senior Member Williamsmith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    This week I've been feeling the sandwich squeeze. Mom is scheduling surgery and my son is getting his heart broken, and there isn't anything I can really do to help either of them other than listen. She is more resilient than he is.
    Listening is perhaps the best thing one can really do but the hardest.

  6. #126
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    Williamsmith, very well said and so true.

  7. #127
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    Unfortunately, we are nearing the stage where listening is just not enough; they will need help soon, and I have been listening to them for years and offering support, but at some point soon, action will probably be required, as it is unlikely that both parents will magically pass on at exactly the same time, with no suffering, and no need for help.

    It is SO HARD, and now my brother has freaked them out by going behind their back to their minister and trying to push them into leaving their home, and threatening them. This has made it even harder to approach them to try to offer them needed help. Unfortunately, my father appointed my brother his executor, and now my brother is pushing him to give him POA, which my father does not want to do.

  8. #128
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    If i was your parents I would appoint you the executor, etc. That is terrible that he went behind their backs.

  9. #129
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    I thought it was terrible, too, and besides hurting and embarrassing my dad, it made him very defensive.
    I think it was retaliatory on his part, as Mother did not recognize him when he showed up late at night, and was afraid of him, and I think he was embarrassed and hurt and very angry.
    So he basically started a s##tstorm.

  10. #130
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    that is truly terrible, it must be very painful if a parent doesn't recognize you but to react that way helps no one and is selfish

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