Well, hiding spending is not as unusual as hiding two previous marriages. Found out mom was married twice before she married Dad and was married to him for 61 years. My parents never ever talked about money. We got hints as we were much older that things were fine. Neither spent money and I wish they had enjoyed some of what they saved. They even refused to fill out the college financial aid forms so I told them they were then responsible for the whole cost and they provided it. (much cheaper in the 70s though.)