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Thread: Nothing wrong with looking! Not anymore...?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Nothing wrong with looking! Not anymore...?

    Thoughts on this?

    I was hanging out with a friend of mine, who is what most people would call a "Social Justice Warrior." He knows I disagree with him on some things. We do discuss some hot button issues, believe it or not.

    The other day we were outside a cafe enjoying beverages and talking about classes, social issues, romance, therapists, and all sorts of stuff.

    A beautiful black woman with eye-catching curves walked by. And I gave her a quick "check out." It was brief and fairly subtle. But when my eyes returned to my friend and our conversation he gave me a very disapproving expression.

    So I asked: "Do you think it is unethical for a man to 'check out' a woman he finds attractive?"

    His answer was a resounding and firm "yes." His reasoning was that "the person -- usually a woman-- who is checked out does not give consent to have their attractiveness appreciated."

    My personal feeling is that in a free and open society people are allowed to look at each other.
    的 came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

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    They knew you'd be coming to visit someday, so Middle Easterners veiled their women to prevent this.

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    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    This friend asked this: "How would you feel about gay men checking you out?"

    I said: "When I was young, thin, and handsome they did! And I did not care."
    的 came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

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    I think it's pretty natural for males to check out female physiques even though it is not popular to say so. I think you just have to be really discrete about it these days, i.e. behind sunglasses lest you supposedly offend someone. I recall as a young woman that it was pretty normal for men to whistle at women who walked by. I never liked that sort of attention but it would never happen nowadays.

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    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkytoe View Post
    I think it's pretty natural for males to check out female physiques even though it is not popular to say so. I think you just have to be really discrete about it these days, i.e. behind sunglasses lest you supposedly offend someone. I recall as a young woman that it was pretty normal for men to whistle at women who walked by. I never liked that sort of attention but it would never happen nowadays.
    It seems really rare, but I don't run with a crowd that would do that.
    的 came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

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    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    Is there some set of guidelines I can follow so as to not cause offense...?

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    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bae View Post
    Is there some set of guidelines I can follow so as to not cause offense...?
    I could ask him, like if he thought up some guidelines, what those would be? Might that help you on this?
    的 came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

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    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight View Post
    I could ask him, like if he thought up some guidelines, what those would be? Might that help you on this?
    That sure would be helpful. I am often out, minding my own business, and someone walks across my field of vision. Should I avert my eyes, or is that also problematic?

    It's so confusing these days.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bae View Post
    That sure would be helpful. I am often out, minding my own business, and someone walks across my field of vision. Should I avert my eyes, or is that also problematic?

    It's so confusing these days.
    It might be best to always look down when you are in public.
    的 came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

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    I come from the old lady from some other era side viewpoint but wonder why so many women display their curves so openly if they don't wish for the attention.

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