Crossing the border next Thursday, a little apprehensive.....

[Teacher Terry]

IL: the first time I lived in KS and saw them picketing when we went to Topeka for a meeting. I had no clue who they were but that was in 1993. They were picketing a serviceman's funeral. I thought how sad for the family. ANM: if working hard and persistently towards a goal is self-righteous then I am guilty.

[iris lilies]

being self-righteous is not my cup of tea! Probably is on most people's list of most irritating traits. Victim hood or self-righteousness while both might be irritating the later is more so.

To me, they are ot equal, victimhood takes the lead in annoyingness. I know that I "hear" victimhood louder and quicker than the other.

I can think of a few times in my life when I was shocked by someone, and I recoiled, when that someone approached me as a victim when hearing my complaint about some dumb thing. To me,I was just expressing a vent as a capable adult person in charge of my own well being, and they treated me as " poor little you."

They weren't wrong, they just mis read me. They were well intentioned but Ick.

[herbgeek]

Or, you can actually enjoy the work you do.

I actually enjoy the work I do. But I work in a corporate environment, complete with fad of the month/year. When I actually get to do my job without management interference, time just flies, my teams are happy, I feel productive. But that is a rarity. Maybe libraries are different, more staid? So even when you find a job you enjoy, with people you enjoy, other factors can come in and f that up.

[dmc]

I won't put anyone on a ignore list, no one bothers me that much. I can always just skip over their post if I really wanted to.

And as far as liking your work. My wife puts quite a few hours in at the club as a board member and doesn't get paid a cent. So she must like it. And it's defiantly a job.

[gimmethesimplelife]

Here's something I have discovered about the blocking feature, just an FYI for anyone interested (?) If you block someone (as I have, stated only so that you'all know I have a reason to post this) and check on new posts without signing in, whoever you blocked - their posts will show up. Just an FYI. I will be signing in before checking new posts for awhile......so that those who I blocked? I won't see their posts this way. Rob

[gimmethesimplelife]

Rob, I'm sorry to see that you have stepped down from the role of moderator. But if it makes your life easier, then that's a good thing!

Thank You, Geila. I believe it's best for the board, and anyway, I've been in the role for some time, anyway, I think since 2011 or so? Even if there were no issues it might be wise to rotate folks every now and then, no? At any rate, it's nice to see some support here from various folks and I do appreciate that. I will continue to post in my style - but now those you don't care for my posts have an easy way to avoid ever seeing my pixels, and I theirs. At this point I'd say this is for the best, though it's indeed been interesting filling the role of forum pinata/forum black sheep. But I've had my fill of this role - time for someone else to fill these shoes. Rob

[catherine]

I'm bummed that things have regressed so far that Rob had to demote himself. I really enjoy the differences of opinion here. We have one thing in common--the desire to simplify our lives and live true to our values--and everything else is a wild card. I love the fact that we represent different ideologies, political parties, and ends of the scale economically. (I wish we had more racial and ethnic diversity but maybe voluntary simplicity is a white man's sport).

[gimmethesimplelife]

What you read as incendiary, I read as a person experiencing some concern, apprehension, and perhaps anxiety about an upcoming event. And I see a person posting about it here in an effort to alleviate those feelings. The fact that the event would not cause concern for you does not mean that the person's concern is invalid. And it certainly does not give you or others license to mock him for his feelings.

We all have our own fears and insecurities that might seem unfounded, exaggerated or silly to others. I'm afraid of heights and I'm claustrophobic. Does that make my genuine fear in those circumstances illegitimate, and therefore cause for ridicule?

Some people also have PTSD or PTSD symptoms arising from traumatic events. I can't imagine mocking someone for it. Compassion and kindness seems the logical adult response. Making fun of someone who is hurting is behavior that you typically see in very small children who have not yet learned how to respect the feelings of others or the ability to empathize with another person's pain.

I completely agree with your take here. And your first paragraph is an accurate summary of why I posted this topic about my apprehension of crossing the border (back to the US, I mean) in the first place. I live in an area (we've all heard me repeat my zip code enough now) where there are people who have dealt with over the top nastiness and aggression and borderline or actual illegal behavior from US CBP - this is not a far fetched out there scenario for someone in my neighborhood, and my fears re: crossing back into the US are far from unfounded. This is reality in my zip code, and that's not going to go away or change because there are those who would rather deny this reality or sweep it under the rug. But....it's not for me to change people mind's nor am I responsible for doing such. Something positive here is that there are some kind, supportive, decent people here - I'd rather focus on that and move forward and block the various (how do I say this civilly but yet get the point across in a non-mistakable way?) sources of conflict/negativity/strife. Works for me.

Funny thing is now that I've stepped down and I don't have to watch the language quite as much, I feel compelled to watch my language even more LOL. Not sure what that's about - I'm guessing it's compensation for how a few folks have treated me during my gig as a mod here. At any rate.....thanks for the support Geila, I really do appreciate it. Rob

[gimmethesimplelife]

I'm bummed that things have regressed so far that Rob had to demote himself. I really enjoy the differences of opinion here. We have one thing in common--the desire to simplify our lives and live true to our values--and everything else is a wild card. I love the fact that we represent different ideologies, political parties, and ends of the scale economically. (I wish we had more racial and ethnic diversity but maybe voluntary simplicity is a white man's sport).

Catherine, Thank You for the support. I am not trashing you in the slightest here by what I am about to post. I just wish to clarify if I may? I don't feel so much that I "had" to demote myself. No one forced me to - no one on the mod team or Alan sent any behind the scenes emails asking or demanding that I step down. I did so because of the issue with folks that don't care to read my pixels were unable to block me due to my being a mod. I'm guessing this is built into the software here (?). I'm sure Alan would be able to explain this much better that I ever could.

I consider myself a very tough person overall - I've been through quite a bit in my 50 years. But here I'm going to admit I was getting tired of the attacks and snarkiness and unpleasantness. As I said before stepping down, this is a two way street and there are several folks I have joyfully blocked and I hope they have done the same for me - the idea makes my smile and offends me not in the slightest. I maintain that although some of what I have posted is not easy to deal with/may be a bit controversial for those more economically stable/set - I also maintained respect and class and decorum while I was in the role regardless. I'd go so far as to say a few who habitually disagree with me did not. Whatever. Now we can block each other to our heart's content.

Once again, Thank You, Catherine. And I agree with you - I wish we had more diversity here, too. Rob

[gimmethesimplelife]

In real life I've found it is possible to ignore people without an "ignore button." The more homogeneous we are as a group, the less interesting our discussions are likely to be. I enjoy a bit of diversity here, and I find that Rob is always civil and brings some different viewpoints to the forum. I'm glad to have you here Rob. I find you to be genuine and sincere, and we don't need to agree on everything. Like Geila, I am taken aback when folks snipe at each other like adolescents.

Thank You, Rosarugosa. What a nice compliment, I really appreciate it. Rob