Thank God google didn't exist back in my day. My mom's attempts to inject her opinions into my relationships were never welcome and her endorsement of anyone left them dead in the driveway as far as I was concerned. Did I make mistakes? Of course but they were mine to make.
"Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
www.silententry.wordpress.com
My mother dropped huge hints in favor of two of my college classmates. The first married a woman, then decided he was gay and divorced her. The second married a woman and, knowing he had a fatal medical condition, fathered two children before dying in his 20's leaving her to raise them alone.
Not that I have done better on my own (I was grooving to Jody Watley's "I'm Looking For A New Love" on the drive home today) but yeah, don't meddle.
To be honest, even my stepfather telling me my mother cried herself to sleep every night over my dating my husband didn't deter me from dating him, and marrying him.
"Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
www.silententry.wordpress.com
My mom and I didn't have a good relationship. I would have loved one but lets just say she had issues. I tried my best to stay out of the eye of Sauron but my friends were drawn to her charm like moths to the flame. She would say why don't you date so and so...."he is such a nice young man". The last thing I was interested in was a nice young man. She could never find a nice thing to say about anybody I dated or married. I did find out from several people after she died how much she loved my current husband. I was of course the last to know. Her belated endorsement has not soured our relationship.
Catherine I have no doubt you have a much better relationship with your kids.
Fortunately for all involved, my parents loved my SO--but they had grown wise, and didn't let on... My father (who kept his emotional cards close to his chest) considered him a son.
"The last thing I was interested in was a nice young man." (Insert rolling on the floor emoji here) Likewise.
Last edited by JaneV2.0; 7-21-17 at 5:20pm.
Just months before meeting DH, in my final semester of college, my mother dropped hints about a guy 25 years old, whose own mother took an interest that I might be a better match than the 15 year old he was dating. Not only that, his family had money! So much for the idea that "money wasn't everything" though I am not sure how aware my mom was about the 15 year old girlfriend or if she was, she didn't quite see it as quite the red flag that I did.
Incidentally, shortly after I totally nixed interest in this guy, a another friend and classmate of mine managed to catch him, thereby relieving his mother and getting the girlfriend out of the picture....for a while. Friend married him but within a couple of years, he had an affair with who else? The ex girlfriend.
Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. - Booker T. Washington
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