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Thread: Becoming authentic

  1. #31
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Glad to hear that you are being kinder to yourself and feeling positive about doing so.
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

  2. #32
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    Razz, is right. There are only so many hours in a day. It sounds to me that you accomplish a lot every day.

  3. #33
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    Tonight after dinner, which was leftovers, I sat with dh and worked on a crossword puzzle for about 15 minutes. Then he said "I'm going to go hit some golf balls."

    the dishwasher was full of clean dishes, and the sink was full of dirty dishes.

    I said "I have this great idea where you help empty the dishwasher first." And he said "ok." And did that.

  4. #34
    Senior Member herbgeek's Avatar
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    That's awesome cl! First that you asked for the help you needed and second that he did that!

  5. #35
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    See, that's the thing - I just don't ask. All this stuff is happening in my head and it's only in my head.

    In my head:
    <big dark carved in stone type>"I am supposed to do the dishes" if I do not keep up with the dishes, I have failed. It is an imposition to ask for help with the dishes. I am letting people down by needing help with the dishes. Everyone else keeps up with the dishes. I'm a terrible housekeeper. I'm a dissapointing wife. Why can't I do this? How hard is it to wash the dishes? I should be able to do this. There isn't enough time! I don't want to spend my whole life washing dishes. He's going to be mad at me. I am being selfish by doing things I want to do instead of keeping up with the dishes.....

    In dh head (probably):
    think I'll go hit some golf balls. Oh, there are dishes? She wants help? Sure, no problem. This will take five minutes. Wonder where I put that can of practice balls.....

    Dh grew up in a house where every single pot pan, plate and utensil was washed, dried, and put away the second his father finished eating - by his father. No one did crossword puzzles.

  6. #36
    Senior Member herbgeek's Avatar
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    See, that's the thing - I just don't ask.
    That's why this is amazing- you got past the negative self talk and did it anyways. That deserves a virtual pat on the back.

  7. #37
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by herbgeek View Post
    That's why this is amazing- you got past the negative self talk and did it anyways. That deserves a virtual pat on the back.
    Ditto!
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

  8. #38
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    Another person here chiming in a congratulations CL for pushing out the negative self talk/ignoring it and just asking. It may get easier with practice!

  9. #39
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    So today I stopped at goodwill. And I found the shirts I was looking for and two immersible blenders - score! that I always keep an eye out for because they burn out in my classroom and studio mixing slip.

    And and I found a big bundle of wire shelving. And I thought "this would make a great rabbit pen so the rabbit can hop around the yard." And I brought it home And then, instead of feeling guilty about buying it, and stashing it somewhere to do "later" I made a rabbit pen. I used up almost all the shelving (one 16"x17" square left over) and a 3ft piece I already had that I was saving because it might be useful, and I used some of the end caps to replace the missing end caps in dh closet (he's been living with easter erasers to protect his eyes) and I put the unused angle braces on dh workbench and I put the tools away, and the rabbit likes it.

    Picture below?

    A rabbit yard pen has been on my wish list for well over a year. it may not be beautiful, but it's functional and cost me under $10. And I did something instead of just wanting to do it.

  10. #40
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