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Thread: Becoming authentic

  1. #121
    Senior Member Geila's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    This has been an extremely difficult week. Dh is out of town for work, and while he has been really good about calling and sending me ims, my anxiety level has been very high. I will be glad to have him home tomorrow night.

    i have not been managing well, but I have been managing. Progress in some areas and limited backsliding.

    he says the break in his routine has him rethinking his life, so maybe we will do some planning and evaluating together when he gets home.
    Sorry to hear this. Is your anxiety and difficulty because he's gone, or something else?

  2. #122
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    Sometimes rethinking your life and making positive changes can be so beneficial. We only get 1 life so better to make some changes then to keep the status quo sometimes. It will be interesting CL to see what he is thinking about. Life is about change.

  3. #123
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    Most of the anxiety is because he is gone - some of it is focused on him being gone, and other areas are issues that I always have anxiety over but having him here helps mitigate.

    he had a much healthier work schedule on his trip, so I am hoping he is thinking about making some changes in that direction!

  4. #124
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    Sometimes rethinking your life and making positive changes can be so beneficial. We only get 1 life so better to make some changes then to keep the status quo sometimes. It will be interesting CL to see what he is thinking about. Life is about change.
    We only get one life? Drat. There go all my plans...

  5. #125
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    I am struggling with one of my starfish again.

    i am catching myself making poor choices.

    last night in particular the irony was thick enough to cut with a knife. “I am angry and frustrated and sad about this child who is making bad choices. I will go home and eat a bag of chips. Then later I will have a drink so I can go to sleep.”

    dh is working on his schedule and exercise program. Last night he found a 15 minute cardio workout he wants to start doing at home instead of driving to the fitness center after work 2x a week. I however, need to rejoin the fitness center because I need to swim. Swimming after work yesterday would have been so much better than chips and booze.

    wedging clay would have been better too, and I have no excuse for not doing that.

  6. #126
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    You can do it today. Some nights, days just fill our heads with noise we cannot get rid of. Wedging clay sounds like great exercise and it's very useful to you.

  7. #127
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    I had joked with a coworker that I was going to buy a rosary and use it to pray the serenity prayer.

    someone gave me a starfish charm, and I put it on a neck chain and wore it to work yesterday. I have never really understood the wearing of religious jewelry. Other than it seemed like “group signaling” and often hypocritical at that. But I found myself touching the starfish throughout the day and recentering.

    i do not have a “Religion” with a formal structure and external rules and “official” symbols, and while my spirituality draws from a variety of sources, it has always felt wrong to adopt most of the symbolism that goes along. (I would never really co-opt a rosary) but I think I understand it better now. In some ways my starfish fills a void I didn’t realize was there.

  8. #128
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    Cl, That's interesting. Beads are used in lots of cultures for centering, I think. I made some for a chakra meditation and found them soothing and centering. So I suspect the starfish does the same.

  9. #129
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nswef View Post
    Cl, That's interesting. Beads are used in lots of cultures for centering, I think. I made some for a chakra meditation and found them soothing and centering. So I suspect the starfish does the same.
    This--prayer beads, whatever the configuration, are a tool. I would say buy some or make some, and see if they help you focus.

    I have a couple of pretty crosses that i wear occasionally--I explained to a friend that i do it to annoy the Pope who complained about Madonna doing so years ago. I don't like the signalling aspect of them, but I figure they're legit as long as the Church claims me.

    I love the Idea of a starfish on a chain.

  10. #130
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    I spent most of the weekend reconnecting with dh. It was good.

    my heart daughter is in crisis again (obviously bad)

    today I am going to help at the food bank and then recenter on hestia (home, hearth, source of comfort and nourishment - feeding my own flame so that I can warm others.)

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