Becoming authentic

[mschrisgo2]

I'm going to add a story here from my time with second graders yesterday. I've been teaching after school remedial reading groups, about 12 class sessions so far. We usually do echo reading, I read, they follow along, then read back. Yesterday they spontaneously read with me, and a very long story. When we finished, they were silent for a whole long minute, looking at each other, eyes sparkling, then they started high-five-ing each other! They were feeling their success- everyone could read every word!

Suddenly, one of the girls started crying. After a respectful minute or so, one asked her why she was crying, and she blurted out, "I'm not the best reader any more!" There was a very worried exchange of looks around the table, then they proceeded with their discussion: "Oh, please don't cry, J doesn't cry any more because now he Can read", and "I don't go under the table instead of taking my turn" and "Now that we can all read, we really can work together" and "This is really a good thing." Every student contributed a compassionate thought that included themselves, the group, and the crying girl. I was blown away, listening to them. After the last one spoke, the girl dried her eyes and said, "Thanks. I feel better now" and we went on with the comprehension part of the lesson.

Could I have added anything? Doubtful. And they did not need me to. I provided the space and understanding that they are competent socially and academically. Did they need and tokes or rewards? No. "Being a good reader is the best reward" they told me at the end of class. Did I feel humbled? Yes. These are 8 yr olds.

[Chicken lady]

Your kids are great!

Little kids in general can be pretty amazing.

My birth kids are pretty awesome adults, and I have had people ask me what I did. Sometimes I say “I don’t know.” Sometimes I say “they came this way. And I didn’t break them.” Honestly, I feel like all the good stuff came straight out of them and I am just grateful I didn’t mess up too badly or often.

[Teacher Terry]

What a great story about the kids!

[Chicken lady]

The spice store man put a heart shaped pin in my shopping bag.

it says “embrace hope”

[herbgeek]

I love Penzey's. Not only did they have yummy spices, they also try to do good as well.

[Chicken lady]

Lol, I was trying not to advertise, but I love them too. I love the man who runs the local store as well. I don’t feel like I go in that often, (half a dozen times a year?) but he remembers me and asks about my kids. Yesterday it was “hi! You on spring break?”

the “embrace hope” pin just seemed serendipitous.

today, I am doing geometry with my high school pottery class. I know at least two of them are math dorks who will think it is cool that they can use math to do pottery. I’m hoping a couple of others will develop an appreciation for the usefulness of math. (Yes, this DOES relate to something you care about...)

interestingly, my meditation yesterday encouraged me to stop trying to be a “something” and be a “someone”. Which brought home to me that even in my search for self, I am still defining myself in terms of roles and relationships.

i think it is cool that you can use math to do pottery.
i try to embrace hope.
i also once told someone that the ironic thing about the story of pandora is the implication that “hope” was different from all the other horrible things she let out of the box.

i am a very cynical optimist.

[Chicken lady]

Yesterday I was cleaning up after school, and I heard one of my students walking down the hall talking to another student i don’t teach. My student said “...(chicken lady) is like that.” And I stuck my head out the door and asked “i’m Like what?” He responded without hesitation “always happy.” I laughed and said “way to think on your feet.”

he’s a nice kid. There is a good chance that was actually what he said about me. I am sceptical, because I wonder if I can possibly really appear that way. Always “happy”? Tired, angry, sad.... but maybe it’s just that I am always glad to see them. Whatever my internal landscape is doing, it is humbling and comforting and often joyful to be confronted with a room full of people who have come to spend an hour or so learning with me just because they want to. We have at will enrollment. We have no attendance policy. My job is literally a gift from my students and their families.

[nswef]

Grasp the description CL. The children perceive that you are happy to see them. That's what matters to them.

[Chicken lady]

I have a very young student, and sometimes, during play periods, I will look a5 her and realize she is just standing there silently crying. When I ask what is wrong, she always says “i’m Tired.” I think what she means is “i’m Overwhelmed. I don’t have the energy for this.”

right now, i’m “Tired”.

[Zoe Girl]

Oh dear, i had a 5 yo today that got overwhelmed and was getting annoying, the other kid was just as responsible. We asked him to cool off and he started banging his head on the wall and gave himself a good red mark. He will also twist his fingers to hurt himself. So i took him out, the psychologist was still in the building so we went to talk to her. She helped him talk about his calming technique and i got a copy of the poster. We were recovering fine and then mom walked in and started yelling at him, he is yelled at and punished for this behavior, he actually wasn't in trouble.

Sigh, i went back and talked to the psychologist and they are aware that mom has limited emotional regulation. I tried to tall to her and i told staff the whole story. We can't lie to mom but we may want to phrase things very carefully. This is the same mom who cried on the phone with me cor 10 minutes over missing another camp deadline