Becoming authentic

[razz]

You are getting there! I love the wake-up to a foggy morning unfolding the day. Seems magical to me every time.

[Zoe Girl]

Another internal rewrite needed.

this morning I called a government agency for help interpreting a publication that I want to use in my classroom. The woman on the other end of the phone could not find the electronic document I was looking at, even when I read her the url and the name and date of the publication. She said "let me go in the back and get someone who can help you, and she will call you right back. She then took my name and phone number.

that was 50 minutes ago.
re.

Omg totally understand. I am still waiting on a computer battery replacement that i requested in the middle of summer. I did however get my new fridge yesterday! We broke ours the first day of school. I have a boss who really wants to help me but i am already starting a terrible year with just nothing working right, everyone too busy, and regular chaos. I can only manage so much of it before it starts to take way too much of my energy

[Chicken lady]

So you know the quote (Ghandi?) about happiness being when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony?

That only works if you can align all three of those things with reality and then manage your thoughts and use your words and actions to shape your life into something that actually makes you happy.

(Extreme examples: if you think you are worthless and without hope, you speak as if you have no opinions or value, and you accept living in an abusive situation or, if you are delusional, warn everyone you meet about the invading aliens, and barricade yourself in your basement - I doubt you will ever be "happy")

so that last line "I can only manage do much of it before it starts to take way to much of my energy." I suggest figuring out where "too much" is. Not "way too much." "Too much." You have a lot of stress factors in your life. If you look at each one, define it clearly (strip it of all the stuff in your head that isn't part of it - that's a big one for me. A dirty dish is a dish that has been used. Period. Everything else is me projecting "it needs to be washed" really? Did you just use it for toast? If you wipe the crumbs off will you be happy to eat your lunch on it? Etc.)

anyway, define it clearly and then examine how you are thinking about it - what you think it means, what needs to be done about it, who needs to do it, what the cost is to you and if it is worth it. Then you decide what to say, if anything, see if anything changes, and decide what to do.

[Zoe Girl]

Thanks chicken, it is a process and i need to stop and check my progress nkw and then. Many things that used to throw me off are not a big deal,and a new crop of things is arising
Btw i sent you a PM, if you have time

[Chicken lady]

Stayed up a little late last night to try to shift my schedule because ds comes in at ten tonight, the rehearsal dinner will go late, and the wedding will go very late. Managed to sleep until 7.

the next 4 days are about family.

[Chicken lady]

Working on keeping up with the day-to-day as the routine changes.

i am a person who wakes up at 5 a.m. (Half an hour before the alarm) the second day of school because the first day was so much fun and I am excited about going back....

so I have had time to relax with my coffee and the beautiful full moon.

dh helped with the dinner clean up last night without being asked. And he put his book away at bedtime with only a token complaint about how good the story was. He'll be getting up in a few minutes, so I'm off to pack lunches (mine too today) and make breakfast.

[razz]

More progress! Good for you!

[nswef]

Those quiet moments in the morning sure do help with the day!

[Zoe Girl]

My authentic was working on my voice yesterday, the school hired a mindfulness coach, created a mindfulness room and a restorative justice staff. I did look at the job last year for the RJ position and it paid too low. But i was very surprised to see a separate mindfulness coach position this year. So i chatted with the dean of students about how the whole thing felt to me. I have volunteer taught mindfulness in classrooms for 3 years and it would have veen nice to have my suggestions in the process of this. As many in education know volunteering can be taken for granted. So many places i have volunteered have not given me interviews when there are paid jobs. I just shared a little of this and she was very receptive, and they have talked me up to the coach as well.i feel good that i checked in with her, I didn't have any way to know if they had passed on who i was to this staff, so at least a reminder to keep me included in yhd conversation

[Chicken lady]

I'm glad you're speaking up for yourself Zoe girl.

i am working in not being attached to other people's outcomes this week. It is very hard when the other people are minors.

back when I was attending the UU church regularly, every week we used to stand and say "love is the spirit of this fellowship, and service is it's law. To dwell together in peace, to speak the truth in love, to help one another - This is our covenant." There have been a few moments already this year when I have wanted to write on my board: "Dwell together in peace. Speak the truth in love. Help one another. And please ask your parents to send in a hand towel!"

i think the part I am struggling with with some of them right now is speaking the truth in love. It's good that I don't teach in a public school, because today I was at the complete end of my rope with two little boys, and I just reached out and put one arm around each of them and pulled them in for a hug. It seemed to help. Another teacher told me she is throwing one of them out of her class. "I've had him for four years, and I just can't do it anymore." It's the second day. I completely understand, but I also wonder, how do we get him from where he is to a guy you would want your child to date? A valued employee? A good neighbor? Will throwing him out help? Will it help the other kids?

i am a thrower of starfish. I don't want to go find the children I can actually help and focus on them and write the others off. I just want to help whichever kid is currently in front of me.