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Thread: Manliness Then And Now

  1. #1
    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    Manliness Then And Now

    Interesting article that came across the transom today:

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/01/o...ite-house.html

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    Senior Member jp1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bae View Post
    Interesting article that came across the transom today:

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/01/o...ite-house.html
    A good read. Thank you. Unfortunately I suspect that Trump would tweet that the whole bit about magnanimity was "fake news".

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    Senior Member Williamsmith's Avatar
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    I was nodding in agreement until the last reference to John McCain. John McCain is a pompous self serving son of a bitch. Holding him up as an ideal role model is laughable. The magnanimous man addresses life anew each day. McCain is a hot headed emotional bombastic ogre who drags with him a lifetime of grudges. He could choose to leave them behind but he stubbornly picks them up every day. The author needs to pick another example.

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    The author didn't mention among his versions of manliness one that Trump and some other men adopt - being a player, in Trump's case to the point of being a predator.

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    Oh I was ready to jump into this post hoping the article was on the new wave of manliness or lack of in the general public. Then I read the posts before reading article and realized it was on political "men".

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    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    One of my favorite topics! Manliness! haha

    I can tell you this: Feminists are having a shit-fit at that Brooks article.

    I can also tell you this, I have also said for a long, long time that in this era -- in ways we never have seen -- men are in a crisis.

    By natural inclination (mostly) and by conscious choice I try to cultivate traits in myself that I consider positive masculinity -- things that cultivate physical and mental toughness.

    The men I see in America today are mostly doughy, lazy, video game-playing, intellectually stunted, screen-staring goofs or greedy, vain gym rats with no character (though equally intellectually stunted to the goofs).

    There was a time in this country when men could run a trot line, grow their own tomatoes, and read Steinbeck novels. Men used to cultivate a certain toughness and this toughness was valued by other men and admired by women.

    That era is mostly gone.
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

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    Ultralite,

    My husband can fix things - cars, houses, plumbing, wiring, appliances. He moves heavy stuff. He manages the finances and pays the bills. He does the yard work and cuts the fire wood every year. He is also a good cook and willing to help with housework. He cares for me and the children and he stands up for us. He is able to be emotional and open. He is involved in the community and his friends can count on him. He conducts himself in public with class. There have been several times when he has stepped up because a young person needed a "dad". He is an above average musician, intelligent, and well read. He has taken my daughter to a Broadway play in New York, the local ballet, and many nice dinners. He taught her how to catch a fish, dig a post hole for field fencing, change her oil and brake pads and operate a chainsaw.

    she is pretty sure she will never get married - the bar is too high.

  8. #8
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    Ultralite,

    My husband can fix things - cars, houses, plumbing, wiring, appliances. He moves heavy stuff. He manages the finances and pays the bills. He does the yard work and cuts the fire wood every year. He is also a good cook and willing to help with housework. He cares for me and the children and he stands up for us. He is able to be emotional and open. He is involved in the community and his friends can count on him. He conducts himself in public with class. There have been several times when he has stepped up because a young person needed a "dad". He is an above average musician, intelligent, and well read. He has taken my daughter to a Broadway play in New York, the local ballet, and many nice dinners. He taught her how to catch a fish, dig a post hole for field fencing, change her oil and brake pads and operate a chainsaw.

    she is pretty sure she will never get married - the bar is too high.
    Well stated, CL. Same qualities are true of my of late DH. Even his sons-in-law felt the same way about him. He was also quiet, discreet, self-effacing, non-judgemental so not so visible as many individuals, both male and female, in our world at present.
    ETA: that competent leaders in the past and in the present have the strength and wisdom to surround themselves with a diversity of knowledgeable advisors whom they consult for profound insight before making decisions. Without that insight of a diverse wise supportive team, the 'leader' usually fails in decision-making whatever form it takes with longterm consequences for the society he is leading. Having yes-men surrounding the 'leader' demonstrate the weakness of the so-called leader.
    Last edited by razz; 8-2-17 at 8:22am.
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

  9. #9
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    Ultralite,

    My husband can fix things - cars, houses, plumbing, wiring, appliances. He moves heavy stuff. He manages the finances and pays the bills. He does the yard work and cuts the fire wood every year. He is also a good cook and willing to help with housework. He cares for me and the children and he stands up for us. He is able to be emotional and open. He is involved in the community and his friends can count on him. He conducts himself in public with class. There have been several times when he has stepped up because a young person needed a "dad". He is an above average musician, intelligent, and well read. He has taken my daughter to a Broadway play in New York, the local ballet, and many nice dinners. He taught her how to catch a fish, dig a post hole for field fencing, change her oil and brake pads and operate a chainsaw.

    she is pretty sure she will never get married - the bar is too high.
    Do you talk trash and complain about your husband, like with your gal pals and your daughter?

    Do you refer to your husband as one of your kids?

    Do you laugh at him and ridicule him, perhaps think of him as a buffoon?

    I ask these questions seriously.
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

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    Interesting article, Bae. Like CL and Razz, I look around and see many men who exhibit the kind of manliness that Brooks writes about as magnanimity. My father, my second husband, my sons--they are stand up guys. My first husband, not at all--a cowardly bully. I have to say that the kind of fellows Brooks writes about in Scaramucci are a lot like my first husband. The men in my life, and many men that I know that I am not related to (the OP, for example) seem to be stand up guys who take care of their communities and their fellow men--just like the men in my life, like my father-in-law who did a solo reconnaissance behind a machine gun nest in the Hertgen forest, had his jaw blown off, took out the machine gun nest, and saved his squad.

    I have been blessed to be associated with some wonderful men, who do all the things that stand up guys do, and are also kind and thoughtful and good company.

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