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Thread: CS Monitor article: "One Day This Will All Be Yours"

  1. #11
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bae View Post
    - Her copy of The Joy Of Cooking with her hand-written notes and recipes tucked inside
    One of the few things I have from my mother is a tin recipe box filled with my mother's recipe cards. Most say things like "Joan's Beef Stroganoff" or "Claudia's Marinara Sauce" or "Aunt Florence's Bread Pudding." Joan and Claudia and Aunt Florence are friends/family, which makes these cards even more special. She also included her own recipes in her very slanted-to-the-right handwriting: her Christmas cookie recipe which I've used for years. That card is all greasy and has a hole in it from where she would thumbtack it to the cabinet while making the batter. I touch that card, and the grease and flour bring her to life. I'm touching her. That recipe box is one of my favorite things.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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  2. #12
    Senior Member Williamsmith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    One of the few things I have from my mother is a tin recipe box filled with my mother's recipe cards. Most say things like "Joan's Beef Stroganoff" or "Claudia's Marinara Sauce" or "Aunt Florence's Bread Pudding." Joan and Claudia and Aunt Florence are friends/family, which makes these cards even more special. She also included her own recipes in her very slanted-to-the-right handwriting: her Christmas cookie recipe which I've used for years. That card is all greasy and has a hole in it from where she would thumbtack it to the cabinet while making the batter. I touch that card, and the grease and flour bring her to life. I'm touching her. That recipe box is one of my favorite things.
    There are possibly people who poopoo the idea of "touching" a loved one by touching an item they owned....discarding it as a "feelings" based impulse. However, it is actually likely that when you touch the recipe card, your DNA mixes with the "touch DNA of the previous owner at a very microscopic but very real level. Something to appreciate there.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Sad Eyed Lady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Williamsmith View Post
    There are possibly people who poopoo the idea of "touching" a loved one by touching an item they owned....discarding it as a "feelings" based impulse. However, it is actually likely that when you touch the recipe card, your DNA mixes with the "touch DNA of the previous owner at a very microscopic but very real level. Something to appreciate there.
    I like that. Never thought of it that but way, but I like what you said here.
    "Like a bird on the wire, like a drunk in the midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free." Leonard Cohen

  4. #14
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    Today, I thought about my mother's wedding ring which was purchased in 1942 in Denver and sits in a little celluloid box in my vanity. The platinum band is broken but the diamond still sparkles. I picture her as a young woman in love having the best time of her life and wonder how such a tiny ring could fit anyone. But then I think about the years of her pain after his affair and their divorce. Wonder where that box stayed in her dresser and why she even kept it? And wonder what I should do with it now?

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkytoe View Post
    Today, I thought about my mother's wedding ring which was purchased in 1942 in Denver and sits in a little celluloid box in my vanity. The platinum band is broken but the diamond still sparkles. I picture her as a young woman in love having the best time of her life and wonder how such a tiny ring could fit anyone. But then I think about the years of her pain after his affair and their divorce. Wonder where that box stayed in her dresser and why she even kept it? And wonder what I should do with it now?
    • wear it
    • sell it
    • give it to your daughter

  6. #16
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    I always ask my kids before I get rid of stuff. They want very few of the heirlooms. I used to enjoy having more things around but now I don't. It is also much quicker to clean and easier. I also don't want to burden my kids when I die. My parents downsized and got rid of stuff so it was not a big job when they died. However, I have had inlaws in the past that did the opposite and it was a burden.

  7. #17
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    I never had or wanted a diamond engagement ring, but apparently it bugged my mother a little bit that I didn't have one. When my great aunt died in 2007, my Mom got back her mother's diamond that my aunt had (long story) and gifted it to me with a great deal of love and family meaning from her. It isn't anything I ever would have chosen for myself, but I appreciate all the sentiment imbued in that little vintage ring, and I do often wear it. I think the diamond sparkles with my mother's love for me.

  8. #18
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkytoe View Post
    Today, I thought about my mother's wedding ring
    My mom (widow) sold her wedding ring a few years ago. It was nothing big; if it had a diamond at all it probably was about the size of the one on my record player. My mom loved my dad (still does, truth be known) but it didn't fit any longer, resizing that particular ring would have been difficult, and she didn't want to dwell on no longer being married to him anyway. My mom asked if I wanted the ring, but I'd already bought DW's wedding ring. It felt odd having it as a keepsake anyway. (I have very few keepsakes of my parents'; I'd rather keep their spirits alive). I was surprised, though, at how much I disliked the idea of her selling it to some random jeweler/pawn shop/wherever. Pretty much anything else in her house? Go for it, mom. The wedding ring, though, was different. But it was her ring; her choice. I hope she did something enjoyable with the money.
    If Americans expended even a fraction of the energy on civic engagement that we spend on consumer ideology, our democracy would be much healthier. Can you imagine people camping out to vote? -- Charles Roberts, Amherst, Mass., Nov. 25, 2006

  9. #19
    Senior Member Williamsmith's Avatar
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    I refused a wedding band and so do not have one. But the wife, has many rings. I don't value things generally so I have to keep in mind that my three children might not feel the same way. So as I have conversations with my kids I try to note when they mention that they'd like to inherit something.

    Many may not be able to relate but firearms have been such a big part of my life. I have a fox sterlingworth vintage sixteen gauge side by side shotgun my uncle gave me. I also have every side arm I carried on duty. And a rifle I built myself. I would be disappointed if they left the family.

    The only other item I cherish is my father's 50's vintage Gibson electric guitar. It's value means nothing relative to the fact that when I play it, I can feel his spirit on the fretboard. He aspired to be a musician and probably was frustrated by his responsibilities that kept him from pursuing his dreams. So I play it and he seems to come to life again.

    Interesting how some things have no meaning....and others all the meaning in the world.

  10. #20
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    When we were last at dh parent's house, dh mom had all the kids walk around the house and make a list of things that had significant sentimental value to them. Dh was last and I walked around with him. There is a black power long barreled gun (I know nothing) that belonged to dh great grandfather hanging on the wall of the dining room. Dh looked at it for a long time and then said "(little brother) probably already asked for that." I told him to put it on his list anyway, he could still let his brother have it.

    he was astonished that he was the only one to mention it. His list had 7 items, He was handed one to put in his pocket on the spot, his sister had already asked for one, and three more (one requested by his sister, s they each hot one) arrived in a shoebox when his parents visited recently. The gun and the fountain will be in the will. His parents made the fountain for his grandparents when dh was very small.

    wedding/engagement rings are complicated. My dd has my grandmother's engagement ring - the original bought when Gramp was young and poor, not the replacement she wore by the time I was born, and she loves it. Both the ring, and the hope that her marriage will resemble theirs.

    i have my other grandmother's wedding band. It was given to me by my step grandmother long after my grandfather's death. My grandfather had remarried in less than a year, not to someone he had known before. In fact, she was at least the third woman he asked. He wanted sex and a housekeeper. My family was truly lucky Margaret said yes. He just handed her my grandmother's jewelry box.

    no one ever told me anything about what my grandfather was like before the war. Even his sister never told me a single story about when they were kids. But I know he came home an abusive alcoholic. I have pictures of my grandparent's engagement, (before the war) and they look young and very happy. I remember a lot of fun (and booze) in my grandparents house when mom mom was alive, but not much between them. I asked my mother if she thought they were happy, and she said "I think so, in their way." He only hit the boys. She tried to protect them. And verbally she could give as good as she got.

    so all that is wrapped up in this little gold circle for me.

    it fits me perfectly. My wedding band is part of a set welded to my engagement ring. I don't have a plain gold band and dh thinks I should wear this one when I am not wearing mine (often because I have my hands in clay all the time and the setting on mine is detailed and slightly fragile) but I can't.

    ds is getting married in September and it didn't even cross my mind to offer them the band.

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