CS Monitor article: "One Day This Will All Be Yours"

[catherine]

I'm not a big jewelry person at all, but for the past 40 years I've worn my wedding ring on my left hand, and an old engagement ring that used to be my grandmother's on my right. It wasn't even the engagement ring she got from my grandfather--she had been engaged to someone and they broke it off and she kept the ring. It's pretty, and that's the only reason I wear it. I don't have an engagement ring of my own. My DH had given me a set of diamond earrings as an engagement gift instead of a ring, and unfortunately they were stolen from a jewelry store when they were there for a cleaning (only time I ever had jewelry cleaned in my entire life--should have probably sued the jewelry store for the price of the earrings, but I didn't).

Fortunately I only have one daughter, and she may want those rings. As far as the other stuff, I don't know. I think it's a good idea to have my kids stake their claim on my stuff before I die.

[iris lilies]

We had a few family diamond rings floating around, but none of them worth much.

When I was about 50 years old my mom gave me the biggest family ring, a platinum art deco piece. It is a classic setting of the time, 100 years ago. Because the diamond has both a chip and a scratch on the underside, it isnt worth much and that's ok with me. I think of those faults as being the identifying features of that diamond and if it is stolen, I can identify it.

Prior to the age of 40, I wouldnt have liked this ring, but now I love it. So ya'll keep in mind that the tastes of your kids changes as they age. That doesnt mean keep stuff around for them forever! But something to consider. My mom had a pair of costume jewelry earrings "from Spain" that she gave away to my cousin after asking me if I wanted them. I was 20 years old and I thought they were hideous. Now, I would like them, I like bing dangly earrings. I have looked on ebay off and on for years and havent spotten any like them. Eventually I will run into a pair and they will not be expensive.

[beckyliz]

I've noticed that I'm having a hard time letting go of stuff that used to be a regular part of my lifestyle, but no longer is. When I was in my 20's and 30's, I was very social and hosted gatherings often. I've got a bunch of stuff that I used regularly then - cool glassware (margarita, martini, etc), big serving pieces, pretty tablecloths, etc. But it's been years since I've used them as I no longer get much enjoyment from hosting gatherings. And when I do have company, I keep things really easy now - pick up a couple of Costco pizzas and use paper plates. I want to reserve my energy for other things that I enjoy now. I don't want to be tired from all the shopping, cooking and cleaning after people anymore.

Hmmm... I guess that's an acceptance of my decreasing energy as I get older.

I had been thinking that if I donate to the Goodwill, someone else can enjoy these things. And now I'm thinking, "Yeah, some young person can have a party!"

I wonder if the sadness in letting these things go is the fact that it forces me to recognize that my youth is gone and, physically at least, it's all downhill from here.

Geila, I think you're on the right track when you think about the joy someone else will get by using your party glassware and dishes! I also have to wonder if, by letting go of these items that you no longer use and are no longer a part of your life, you'll open up space for something new and exciting. Not necessarily "stuff." And, just because we're older, doesn't mean we can't still have a great time doing things we love with people we like and love. I've struggled with the same feelings, but I've found it to be very freeing once I decide to let go of those items that are no longer a part of my current life. Just my .02.

[Teacher Terry]

A friend of mine that is 10 years older gave me some beautiful liqueur glasses because she no longer entertains and we do. There were so many that I split them with my BF. We use them and love them.

[Geila]

I wanted to give the glassware to my niece, who is 35 and often hangs out with her friends, but she said her and her friends don't socialize at home. They always go out somewhere - restaurant, coffee shop, etc.

My goal is to pack these things up this week and drop them off at Goodwill. I've found many treasures at GW over the years, and now it's my turn to provide them.

And, yes, I am getting excited about what new adventures might come into my life now that I'm making room for them, physically and otherwise.

[jp1]

I can totally relate to not wanting to get rid of stuff that used to be part of your lifestyle. I used to brew beer. A lot of beer. I got pretty good at it and it was cheaper than buying beer at the store. Especially since I lived in an apartment where water and cooking gas were included in the rent. Then we moved to California. 8 1/2 years ago. Our first apartment was small and not well suited to brewing (lack of storage for all the supplies, bottles, etc, and it got way too hot during the day. Fermentation at those temps would've made for some pretty off flavors. 7 years ago we moved to our current apartment. There's plenty of space for the stuff. I have a kegerator now so I wouldn't even have to hassle with individual bottles. The temperature is stable as a rock. But I still haven't brewed a single batch of beer. But I just can't get myself to get rid of all the stuff associated with it. The idea of finally giving up the idea that I might ever do it again is just too sad somehow. And since we aren't planning to move any time soon it just doesn't seem necessary.